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My 2nd question is: I met a guy through a dating (online dating with site and we had our first date using this past Saturday. During a recent email conversation, I'd jokingly said something about not biting his head off and "your head and assorted body parts are perfectly safe with me, I swear" as a reference to times during our date using when he seemed excessively nervous. Here was his reply: "I feel that my head and body parts are safe with you. I trust you. LOL But can you trust me? After all, you did look hot." Is it my imagination, or does the "But can you trust me? After all, you did look hot" comment seem a little creepy? I'd really appreciate any and all feedback. Thanks!..

Comments (9)

I would say that is a bit creepy but sometimes it just might be a personality thing that they joke around alot. dont take it lightly but give him another chance. see what he is like...

Comment #1

Sounds like he was just joking back with you, after all you started it with your comment, he could have took your comment to mean more than it did..

I think you are way overthinking this. ..

Comment #2

Well.. you started it, lol!!!  and he is a man and he is just saying what he is thinking... Try not to take it too seriously.  If he was a gentleman on your date using than I would say there is nothing to worry about.  I just started dating (online dating with a guy... really nice guy and shy when we are on a date... but boy, the emails he's sending are getting a little heated.  I'm just going with the flow because he has been so well behaved on our dates..

Also too, if you feel he is crossing the line when he is saying things like this, call him on it.  Better to find out his intentions now rather than when your emotionally invested.....

The great thing is that you know he thinks your hot!  You should be smiling girlfriend :-).





Comment #3

I don't understand how what you said can be deemed appropriate, and his response in kind is creepy. His statement is creepy only if your "your head and assorted body parts are perfectly safe with me, I swear" statement is..

***If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there. Lewis Carroll (1832-1898)***..

Comment #4

I'm going to have to agree that his response was creepy, but I have to admit that I'm having trouble understanding why people think my comment may have had sexual overtones (head + assorted body parts does not necessarily refer to sexual organs; I was irreverently saying "your head and the rest of you, too" and didn't have anything sexual in mind at the time). His joke was more or less an allusion to rape, and I've decided that I really don't like what it says about his character that he thinks it's acceptable to hint at not being able to restrain himself because of how I look. Frankly, I felt threatened after reading his comment, and I still do. So I've dumped him. There were other little things that didn't quite add up, but this was the proverbial straw.I appreciate all of the responses, however. They helped me process the exchange and reach a conclusion I can live with. Thank you, everyone...

Comment #5

Because, I think, most adults would take the comment as a form of flirtations. That's why you got so many responses like that. When many adult people test the waters, they make "innocent" comments like "your head and assorted body parts are perfectly safe with me, I swear" to test the waters. They see it as flirting and would gauge his response as to where things are going. If he laughed and said HA HA, that probably would mean he didn't get it, or he's not "going there."I see his comment as an appropriate reciprocation of your comment, which he obviously saw as teasing and flirtatious. I'm really sorry that you are so mistrustful that you equate that with a rape mentality; that's a pretty big leap in my mind."I feel that my head and body parts are safe with you.

LOL But can you trust me? After all, you did look hot." I would interpret that as "I may try to make a move on you if you give me the green light, here," adding the fact that you're hot as a C-O-M-P-L-I-M-E-N-T. Flattery. Flirtatious flattery. not RAPE, for god's sake.Not."I'm going to get you in a dark alley and force myself on you because I'm a pervert who has nasty dark intentions." Now, if you kept dating (online dating with him, and he turned out to be all lechy and gross and kept trying to get you down a dark alley, THEN I'd get all creeped out. Give the guy a chance.

***If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there. Lewis Carroll (1832-1898)***..

Comment #6

"your head and assorted body parts are perfectly safe with me, I swear".

 You went out on a date using and you said this weather it be email or not I would have taken this as a sexual flirtasous thing. What he said back was something in line with what he thought you were saying. Not creepy he is just being sexually flirty...

Comment #7

If you dumped the poor guy because he responded this way to YOUR flirtatous comment... than I would say... the guy is LUCKY that you dumped him....

Sounds like you need to lighten up ALOT :-)..

Comment #8

Holy crap?!?!?  You seriously dumped this guy because he made a flirtatious comment back to what he viewed as a flirtatious/sexy comment from you?  Wow, way to cut the guy some slack there.  Not sure what else he could have said, but that comment about whether or not you could trust him because you looked hot is in NO WAY referring to rape.  Rape is NOT about whether you are hot or anything about attraction.  Rape is about control and domination.  NOT about whether or not a guy likes you or thinks you are hot.  And if he were really unable to restrain himself because of how hot you looked, he wouldn't have.  He wouldn't have joked about it.  It was a JOKE.  Not a hint..

YOU may not have meant anything sexual about "his head and assorted body parts" but you MUST understand how a comment like that would and could be misconstrued.  So exactly what body parts do you THINK you're referring to?  His arms?  Whatev.  That conversation extremely easily goes toward a sexual vein, especially when said between two people who are dating..

I think you really need to ease up here otherwise no one will ever be able to say anything flirty or sexy to you without you taking as a sign that he's going to rape you which is SO not the case.  You know absolutley nothing about rape if you feel like it is an attraction thing..




Comment #9

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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