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My question is: Best coupon codes for Match.com?.

My 2nd question is: So if you look at my previous posts, you'll see that I've been having a tough time because I want the relationship (thru Match.com) with the guy I'm dating (online dating with Match.com) to move forward (to exclusivity) but I don't think that's what he wants. I've been trying to wait it out, then the past week happened..

He's been out of town for work for several weeks. This last week instead of hearing from him a several times, I only heard from him twice, both times during the day when neither of us could talk because of work. Then when he got home this weekend, I didn't hear from him Friday, I sent him a text Saturday and asked if he wanted to get together but he was with family and said he would text me later and let me know, never heard from Saturday night, never heard from him Sunday.

After crying over him Friday & Saturday, I woke up Sunday and decided that it was time to tell him what was on my mind, even though I don't typically do that. I sent him an email (since I couldn't see him in person and he didn't answer his phone) letting him know that I felt like he was blowing me off and I wanted to know where we stood (that's the condensed version). I can't tell if he's read the email or not, but I haven't heard from him either way..

My head realizes that his disappearing act tells me he has lost interest (my gut tells me he is dating (online dating with Match.com) someone new since we weren't exclusive and she's getting all his attention). For some reason my heart needs him to respond to my email and say it. I know it's probably over, but I had to send the email because on the slight chance it's not, I needed him to know that disappearing is not okay, that I needed to respect myself. But of course now I regret and think that I should have just tolerated it and waited to see if came around..

I guess I'm looking for confirmation that I did the right thing by sending that email. What's your honest opinion?..

Comments (7)

If you told him how you feel and you dont get what you want then you both are on different pages with each other...better to walk then to keep trying or to settle for less than what you want...

Comment #1

Never regret standing up for yourself... this man has been sending you a clear sign of his non-interest by not contacting you.  It's important, that you recognize these non-verbal signals men send and know when to let go of the relationship....  when a man stops communicating with you it's because he is not interested in a relationship (thru Match.com) or moving ahead... perhaps his is keeping you on the sidelines for a "booty call"...  I went through a similar situation a few months ago with a man was head over heels with but he did not want a relationship.  Well, I made a really tough decision and asked him not to contact me again and he hasn't .  Its been difficult but I needed to do it for my own self respect.  Don't be his "fall back" girl... it will destroy your self esteem... just look at the pain his shabby treatment has caused you already..

Empower yourself and do not contact him again.  Do not accept this treatment from him or any other man.  Watch for the very important signs in your future relationships. If he has moved on with another, than let him and hold your head high!  Never let a man know that he has gotten the best of you. .

Now, I know you are going through a lot of emotions. Let yourself feel them. Keep yourself busy. Focus on you... respect and love yourself, and you will heal.  Every day will get a bit easier.  Start dating (online dating with Match.com) again.  All these experience we go through are for a reason... to help us move closer to finding the one for us...

And remember, your true love will not cause you pain. Stay STRONG!.

 ..

Comment #2

Sorry to hear about this phtogrl, but for what it's worth, I think you did the right thing by standing up for yourself.  I would've done the same thing.  His lack of response is your closure, now you dont have to wait around for his phone calls or texts, and can finally move on.  You said your piece, laid it all out and told him what you want, you have nothing to regret.  Just remember, you owe it to yourself and your self respect.  If he cant be man enough to be up front with you, then he's not worth your time and tears.  .

You're going to be okay!..

Comment #3

I am in the same boat as you! So frustrating. I started dating (online dating with Match.com) this guy back in June and we got really close really fast. And I thought we were both happy! But then come August, he started growing really distant. Unfortunately, we're dating (online dating with Match.com) long distance, but have been able to see each other about once a month since school started (he's a teacher). Last time I saw him he said that he knew I wanted to define the relationship (thru Match.com) but he couldn't be in a serious relationship (thru Match.com) right now. He's stressed with work, and I'm unemployed, so I don't even know where I'll end up.

I told him I wanted to be part of something that BOTH of us wanted and he said he DID want to be part of this. Well, like you, I couldn't let it rest because I just thought if he felt the need to tell me we couldn't be serious then he must not be that into me. So I've been really insecure lately. Well, apparently that insecurity has been a total turnoff to him. I haven't heard from him in a week! I used to hear from him everyday! I emailed him this morning to say I'd be in town this weekend and asked if he wanted to get together.

The whole situation has left me so sad, and I've lost a ton of sleep over it. Why do guys have this control over us?? Why can't we turn off our feelings for them they way they can turn off theirs? I told him that I hated being in an undefined relationship (thru Match.com) because I always end up getting hurt. He swore he wasn't like other guys, but I guess he is. And I'm totally worried that he's started seeing someone else, too! Anyway, I know that's not exactly advice for you, but I just wanted you to know I know where you're coming from! And it SUCKS!..

Comment #4

It does suck! There are way too many guys like this out there. I hope your situation turns out better than mine..

I had 5 days straight of tears, but here I am day 6 and I haven't cried yet today. I guess it is getting better..

Good luck!!!..

Comment #5

Well I'm glad you're doing better. Looks like I'm following in your footsteps! My email to him remained unanswered so I sent another one saying I missed hearing from him and asked if he was planning on ever talking to me again. His short response was that he'll be very busy this weekend but we could have lunch Saturday if I wanted. I told him not to worry about it. It's clear that I don't mean much to him anymore. If he did want to see me, he could have invited me to any of the things he is so busy doing, not to mention be excited about the possibility of seeing me again after not having seen me for several weeks! Sheesh! When we started dating (online dating with Match.com) I was so attracted to him because he seemed like a genuinely nice guy.

I realize now that all guys can seem like great guys when they're pursuing a woman. When they're over her, however, all bets are off. Here's to us finding men that actually appreciate us! Good luck!..

Comment #6

I was in a similar situation.  Started out talking everyday, got close quickly.  Nothing I've done before.  That was 7 months ago.  I did what you did.  Wrote and asked him what this was, only I really lost it.  He still emails me occasionally.  He says he doesn't know if he's ready for a relationship (thru Match.com) now or not.  I didn't really get-over him until I started thinking about everything I think is wrong or questionable about him.  The big thing was, he was charged for agreeing to meet a 14-year-old girl who turned-out to be cops in a park.  He said his 14-year-old grandneice was in the car with him.  He didn't actually go though b/c as he was driving by, he decided she was somebody else's problem.  Initially, I could believe he was that caring but these last 7 months have convinced me otherwise.  I highly doubt he was innocent at all.  The reason he wasn't convicted was b/c the computers got "lost" and since he went home before he was arrested, he had time to send-out a data eating virus.  I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt but since he told me he couldn't trust me, I no longer trust him.  There are other things, too, like since his ex didn't give him visitation one week-end, he wasn't going to contact his daughter anymore and let his ex keep "messing-up and controlling his week-ends".   He even said he might give-up custody of his daughter so he wouldn't have to pay child support.  Nothing could induce me to give-up custody of my kids willingly!  Of course, I think it was just manipulation on his part b/c he said later could get her in trouble in court for it.  I don't like manipulators, either, though.  Yet, this guy still talks like a highly educated, intelligent even wise man.  I liken him to clouds with no rain, leafy foilage with no fruit.  My point is, relationships end for a reason.  A lot of times if we knew the whole story, we'd be happy the guy doesn't want us.  I watched a movie "Felon" which surprisingly put these things into perspective for me even more.  A lot of guys just plain aren't worth the feelings and pain we put into them.  Thanks for letting me vent!  Best...

Comment #7


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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