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Asking out your doctor

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I have a young doctor who is very friendly and with whom I have a great rapport. It seems that there is interest on his part. Has anyone been in a situation like this and asked the person out for a drink? I don't want him to think I'm a total creep if I do ask him out, but I also don't want to wonder if I missed an opportunity were I to choose not to ask... suggestions?..

Comments (16)

Your question was: Asking out your doctor.

Hi,What did he do to give signs he's interested? It's a tough situation b/c drs aren't supposed to date using Match.com their patients. If he's a professional at all he wouldn't do anything even if you are smoking hot. Not to say some drs would hit on their patients but it's an exception, not the rule...

Comment #1

Doctors usually refrain from sexual contact with patients. It is viewed as abusive and as a violation of trust in that type of relatioship - patient/doctor. But if he is a specialist who you would not see on a regular basis (like your OB/GYN or Internal Medicine doctor), then he might be open to dating (online dating with Match.com) you if the procedure or treatment is over.I have not been in your situation so I don't think I can offer any good suggestions...

Comment #2

Chances are, he is just a friendly guy.  Doctors are not allowed to date using Match.com patients - they could lose their license.  If you choose to ask him out, find a new doctor first then explain the situation of why you found a new doctor and then do what you will.  However, you don't know whether or not he has a girlfriend, a wife, is gay or anything.  And very likely even if he IS interested, he is not willing to risk his job over his interest in a patient..

Personally I would find it really creepy to go out with my doctor with whom I have shared personal and medical information.  It would just be oogy to me..

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Comment #3

Thanks for your responses.. I'll provide a few more details. He's my foot doctor. Other than an issue with my feet I haven't shared any medical details with him. I definately wouldn't even consider it if it were a regular doctor or heaven forbid my ob/gyn!In the beginning, it seemed that he would very discreetly try to check me out. As I continued to see him we started talking about non-medical things..

He had an international trip in the works and as I had lived in the city he was visiting, I suggested I give him a few restaurant names and some not-to-miss sites. I said I could email him the list and he (unexpectedly) gave me his personal email... I expected a fax number or a work email. It may be more of the atmosphere when we talk that gives me the feeling he's interested... there seems to be tension and subjects come up that I would never imagine discussing with anyone but a friend or a date..

Finally, more recently, my office visits have been becoming fewer and farther between. But a few visits ago, upon his arrival into the room he gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. The following visit, nothing, and the last visit, a hug. The only other time I got a hug was before Christmas when I gave him a "thank you/christmas card". Hope this helps clarify!!..

Comment #4

OK, his actions are WILDLY inappropriate.  A doctor NEVER hugs or kisses a patient whether he's a foot doctor, a GP or anything!  He honestly could and should lose his license for actually touching a PATIENT in a non-professional manner and YES - hugging and kissing you on the cheek are a WORLD of inappropriate.  Whether my doctor were young and hot or old and nasty, if he EVER hugged me or kissed me on the cheek, I would feel VERY uncomfortable and as if he was taking advantage of his position..

But of course that is just me.  Despite the fact that yes, his actions could at the very least be considered inappropriate and at most cause him to lose his license, if you ARE interested in him, find a new podiatrist ASAP.  As I said, once you find a new doctor, you can let him know the reason you did is because you're interested in seeing him in a non-professional manner and did not want the professional relationship (thru Match.com) to interfere so you found a new doctor prior to seeing if he was interested in seeing you socially..

Good luck, but honestly, the more I hear about this, the more it creeps me out.  A doctor should never behave so unprofessionally..

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Comment #5

I totally agree with you it is extremely inappropriate and very worrisome. How many other patients is he exhibiting inappropriate behavior with?!?! The doctor should be focused on work, not hitting on patients. This seriously turns my stomach.To the OP, I can see how this may be flattering, but trust me, this doctor is wildly out of line. I have dated many doctors (probably five or so) and none of them would even DREAM of behaving in this manner. It's entirely unprofessional and...creepy. And as I said, if he's doing this you, he's probably doing this to every other pretty young thing coming into his office.Ick!!..

Comment #6

Why would he think you're a creep for asking him for a cup of coffee? There's nothing wrong with doing that. However, what kind of doctor is he? If he's your gynocologist, might be a little uncomfortable! Seriously, ask if he ever socializes with patients and see what he says..

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Comment #7

Don't know about the US but in the UK doctors aren't even allowed to date using Match.com ex-patients. Here in Germany the same. I asked the assistant doctor to the surgeon who operated on my foot (so I was only under the care of that team for 6 days) and we met for a coffee. Then I didnt hear from him for a long time and he emailed me explaining he shouldnt really have met me because it is unethical even if I am no longer under that surgical team's care and will never see them again.The rules are pretty strict but maybe in the US they are more lax.Better avoid doctors who have treated you!..

Comment #8

After reading the details of your visits with him I would suggest you find another guy to date. He may find you attractive, but I don't think your actions will result in anything but a regretful fling. He shouldn't be hugging and kissing you as a patient. He's violating your boundaries as a patient. It's a nice way for a doctor to determine who is ripe for victimization...

Comment #9

I totally agree and hug and a kiss is inappropriate especially between a man and a woman in this setting. But you could terminate the professional RS so you could go out with him...

Comment #10

I'm an MD and it's just as strict here. As far as I know I can't date using Match.com any patient I've ever treated. I haven't checked it out b/c I've never had any patient that I wanted to date. I heard that the limit is two years after treatment is terminated but best policy is never...

Comment #11

I totally disagree with this.  No matter what kind of doctor he is, a doctor and a patient dating (online dating with Match.com) while the patient/doctor relationship (thru Match.com) exists or as white satin pointed out, really EVER or for quite some time after the medical/professional relationship (thru Match.com) has ended is not only unethical it is prohibited by certain standards.  I'm sure the AMA has guidelines prohibiting it..

Therefore there is something VERY wrong with asking out your doctor.  And his actions toward her are highly questionable and inappropriate as is..

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Comment #12

Well the British medical standards state that you can NEVER date using Match.com an ex-patient. It's pretty strict and I guess there must be some reasons for it. Surely there are enough men in the world without having to get into trouble like this??..

Comment #13

I doint think it's really inappropriate... I was very sick a couple of years ago and my doctor's were very affectionate in an appropriate way, I thought. They were just really caring - great bed-side manners - haha! I had a crush on two of them.. But one was like, 50 or something and married. Gosh, he was hot though. The other was alot younger - an intern - but I was mostly doped up whenever he visited me, which was at 6am - LMAO!I am the type who just goes for whatever, screw it (literally? ha!)... If I couldn't sanhd it any longer, I'd switch doctors first and then ask him out...

Comment #14

Oops.. unless the rules of the profession are that he shouldn't..! I wouldnt want him to lose his license! But I have to say.. in high school, my teacher and I sort of had a thing going.. Shhh dont tell anyone. We weren't intimate or anything but we were abnormally close.. whateverrr, we had a thing...

Comment #15

Ask him out, get a new doctor. What do you have to lose- he's a doc!!!..

Comment #16


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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