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Asking a man out

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Hi. I got a tattoo last week for my 26th birthday.The artist who did it was really cool. I had never gotten a tattoo from him, but I have been to the studio for my other ones.And it felt like we hit it off, we talked the whole 2.5 hours it took to do the tattoo.We talked about dating, I mentioned I prefer older guys (hes 28 or 29), and he mentioned he has tried dating (online dating with Match.com) younger (19 and 20s) girls, but would prefer someone closer to his age...and I'm 26...I let it drop that I'm single bc I broke up with someone a couple months ago.I mentioned I want more tattoos, and he suggested (a couple times) that I come in for a consultation soon to talk about that.Plus, he seemed genuinely interested in what I do (i'm in Cosmetology school), he was asking informed questions about it, etc. In my experience, when a man shows real interest in what you have to say and who you are, hes definitely into you.Also, he remembered me fr a tattoo I got in February! He didnt even do that one.I cant tell if his interest was purely professional.I seriously thought of leaving my number last week when the tat was done, but 1.I didnt know if he was interested and 2. I dont know if he can date using Match.com a client.Since he told me to call and set up a consultation appointment, I thought I could mention doing it somewhere else besides the studio, like at a coffee shop or something. Potentially leave my digits.I also thought of dropping a note in the mail, but calling seems more confident and mature.I could always email him, too, through the studio website.I have never asked a guy out, please help!!!Thanks!!-Erin.

Edited 6/14/2007 2:35 am ET by erinecb..

Comments (7)

Your question was: Asking a man out.

He didn't provide you with a clear set of signals, so some of it seems professional and some of it seems personal. Having been in sales we always made it a habit of knowing personal things about our customers and their likes and dislikes, etc.You have a few options:1)you can just let him know you like him more than professionally and see if he takesthe bait: You can do this by meeting him at work, getting your consultation but making sure he you follow up with your previous conversation about being recently single and you were looking to date using Match.com someone closer to your age as well (demonstrating you remembered this about him) and if you could meet someone like him, you would be really happy. In a joking like way you can add, "so are you available?", laugh a little with it and see how he responds. Some men are truely taken aback when a woman expresses her interests or desires that way, so he may blush and laugh but...you'll find out if he has an interest in you.2)you can send him a note, making it read more like you were very happy with his work and service in regards to the tatoo and just in a casual like way sign the bottom with your name and phone number with a statement that kind of reads like: "if you would ever like to go out some time I would enjoy that".3)you can call him and just ask him out with a "I remember what you said about being more interested in dating (online dating with Match.com) someone closer to your age and I was thinking that you and I seem to have a lot in common (if that is true...) and I was wondering if you wanted to go to ____ concert or movie..."If it were me, I would probably go with #1 to see if there really is an interest in me or if he is just a great businessman. But, you were there, I was not. So trust your instincts. I dont have any tatoos so I dont' know how these guys usually run their shops or behave with customers...

Comment #1

I like the consultation option I think, because I always think in-person is better.I don't like fishing though, I like direct. I would just say "We should go out for coffee tomorrow" or something like that and see what he says...

Comment #2

Since he mentioned a consultation sure, ask him casually for coffee. Good luck.

,..

Comment #3

Hey erin!i have an idea!when you meet him for that appointment, just put your number on a piece of paper, or give him a business card with your number on it. that way you look mature and like you were confident enough not to chicken out with a phone call or email. and if he is not interested romantically, you just wont get a phone call. but I think you probably will if you show him your not afraid to take controll of your dating (online dating with Match.com) life! good luck!..

Comment #4

Thanks to all who have replied, I appreciate it sooooo much.heres the scoop.Saturday night I called the shop and left a message for Chris, my crush, bc he was with a client.15 minutes later he called me back on his personal phone, not the studio phone.we set up a consultation for sunday night.what was supposed to be a quick conversation about tattoo designs turned into a ONE HOUR conversation about all kinds of random topics.he even touched my arm and knee a few times.plus, he was the one bringing up new topics so we could keep talking.he did hint at being single, as did i, and that hes really looking for someone he can talk to.(hope thats me!!!)anyway he digs me next tattoo idea and told me to call him again once I get in finalized.so I have been thinking, I could call or text him and suggest meeting up outside the studio for a drink or coffee so we can talk uninterrupted.i just dont know if hes always this flirtatious and talkative...is this a bad idea?thanks,erin..

Comment #5

So the consultation was inside the studio? Positive signs from him. I wonder if he didn't propose anything because you were in a client context?>told me to call him again once I get in finalized. so I have been thinking, I could call or text him and suggest meeting up outside the studio for a drink or coffee so we can talk uninterrupted.I'd try that. What do you have to lose? Perhaps say "my design isn't finalized, but want to meet anyway where we're free to talk uninterrupted?"..

Comment #6

You have to trust your instincts and if you feel that it is "right" then do what you think is best. If you feel really comfortable talking to this guy then go for it...

Comment #7


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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