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Are there any success stories for lesbians on match.com?

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My first question is: Are there any success stories for lesbians on match.com?.

My next question is: Hi,I am new to this board, and would like some male opinions on how a guy feels about a girl calling him.So here is my situation. A week ago I met this guy who is a friend of a friend. We all went out to an outdoor concert. The moment me and this guy met each other we hit it off. I am normally shy until I get to know someone. But we instantly started kidding around.

He kept offering me his sweater whenever he noticed that I looked cold. It was strange at how comfortable I was talking to him. I think the reason that I was more comfortable talking to him, was because at the beginning I was not really interested in being more than a friend with him. As there is one habit of his that is a deal breaker for me. Well anyways later on in the evening he asked me if he took me out somewhere with a group of people if I would be upset if a guy went and talked to his friends, or if I liked a guy to hold my hand the whole night.

Then later on in the night I was dancing with some of the girls and I saw him looking at me every now and then. Me and him danced two times together that night. At the end of the evening we walked behind our friend and talked, till we got to the car. Then on the way home our mutual friend. Mentioned to him that some girls at the party thought that him and I looked cute together.

Well anyways, after my friend said that to him. I sort of laughed a bit, and said yeah they were trying to get me to get your number. He then says do you want my number. I then replied back saying,I do not ask guys for their numbers. He then turned around and said I am offering you my number if you would like it.

I said how about I give you my number, so you can call me. My friend then said to him and I that she would just give him my number on the way home. I said okay. Then as soon as I got out of the car, he pulled out his phone and said okay so what is your number. I then gave my number to him.

So he called me right after he said that. So anyways, it has been a week now and he has not called me. So I am wondering if my comment about how I do not call guys. Meaning as I never have called a guy after I met them. They usually always call me first either a day or two after they meet me.

So now I was thinking about calling him to see if he would like to get together with everyone one time. I am interested in getting to know him. However, I am not sure if I am totally interested in dating (online dating with Match.com) him. But I figure why not get to know him, as we get along well, and you can never have too many friends. The only reason I am unsure about calling him, is because I am worried that he could care less to get to know me if he hasn't called.

I was thinking of calling him in a few days. Even our mutual friend asked me if we had talked. She mentioned that she had not talked to him since that night. I do not want to ask her if he said anything after I left, as she is not a best friend of mine. So I do not want it to get back to him that I asked about him.

I just think that either way he seems like a great guy, so why not get to know him.Your opinions and advice would be appreciated.Thanks...

Comments (13)

Your question was: Are there any success stories for lesbians on match.com?.

I know that what I said about I don't call guys, probably came off as I am the type of girl that likes a guy to do everything. I just said that as I became shy after saying that the girls wanted me to get your number. I know that if he was truly interested he would still call. No matter what, even though he knew that I am busy all week. So if I want to be friends with him, then it should not be a big deal if I call him. I just know that if I call him, I will keep wondering if he really cares to get to know me or not. I could of had a possible opportunity to see him this past week if he went out with our mutual friend, however, I had no free time...

Comment #1

" I know that if he was truly interested he would still call. ".

Go with what you know from your past experiences.  It could be that this guy is one of those people who wants to stretch you - obnoxious.  In other words...you set yourself up by saying that you dont call guys.  He made a big deal to put his number in your phone.  That tells me that he would like you to push yourself a bit if you want this guy in your life.  You have to determine whether or not you want a boyfriend who compensates just a bit for your weaknesses or vulnerablities (showing some kind of caring) or a football coach who is not going to bend to you even if it hurts you.  I'd rather have the prior because the latter is forcing something upon you that you did not request.  It should be your idea to do something that you are not comfortable doing..not HIS decision. Who the heck is he?  Just my opinion...

Comment #2

What I think you should do is find a way to encourage, or perhaps gauge, his interest.  Call a few of your good friends, make sure there is a mutual friend of his in the group, and plan a happy hour, or to go to the baseball game, or an afternoon barbeque, whatever.  Then call him, tell him you and your friends have this event planned and invite him to attend.   He should know what you're about and so if he agrees to join you, that's great.  Then, see how you get along at this next event.  If he's interested in follow up afterwards, he will call.   ..

Comment #3

As there is one habit of his that is a deal breaker for me. you just answered your own question here.  No you should not call him and no you should not try to have a relationship (thru Match.com) with him, you said yourself you dont think you want to date using Match.com him.  Then why would you want to call him?  If a friendship develops let it be natural and not forced..

 .

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Comment #4

If a man is interested in you, he will hunt you down, leap tall buildings in a single bound, persistently call and call and call until he pins you down to go out with him. What are his actions telling you?.

 ..

Comment #5

Thanks you for all your replies. I agree with everything that everyone of you mentioned. I do think that he was interested in me. However, I think he could tell just by how I was that I may not be totally interested in him. I know that because of the fact that he smokes, that I would not be able to date using Match.com him. But I just figured why not just be friends with him, since we seemed to get along well.

When in a way I would like to just have some platonic male friends. Sure I have some, but most of my close guys friends are ex boy friends. Which in it's self some people find interesting. Being as they can be in succesful relationships, yet we are still good friends. As we respect each others relationships.

So I am just concerned that if I call him and ask him to hang out, that he will take it as me asking him out. When in fact I would just like to get to know him. What makes it more difficult is that we only have one mutual friend. So I would have to set something up with that friend, and all their other friends. So I guess I am just asking if a guy would think a girl was interested in something more if she just called you up.

Thanks...

Comment #6

Hi,I wanted to let you know that I talked to that guy tonight for 45 minutes. I texted him just saying how's it going. Then he called me 20 minutes later. We had a great conversation. He asked me if I wanted to go to a BBQ with him tomorrow when he gets off work. But I am not sure as I am coming down with something.

I said that I do not think I would be up to playing sports because I am not well. So he said that if you want to still come, you do not have to play. So I am just going to see how I feel tomorrow. Then I will decide if I want to go or not...

Comment #7

You want to get to the point where it's a give and take of who calls who,  both know the other likes the other.  But yes in the beginning it does feel more reassuring when the guy is the one makig the initial contacts.

,..

Comment #8

Yeah, it is more reassuring when the guy initiates things. However, I think at first he wasn't sure of my interest level. Well yesterday morning the mutual friend of that guy and I's called me to see what I was doing during the day. I mentioned that her friend asked me to do something. She was like yeah he sent me a message about that. So she was like do you want to come out to the beach.

So I ended up just going boating with my family and relaxing on the boat, as I have been really sick the past few days. So I figured that, that guy found out from out mutual friend that I was not going, so that he was not going to call me to see if I was coming or not. As I am pretty sure he invited out mutual friend so that I would more likely come to the bbq at the beach. So when he didn't call me I was a bit frustrated, but understood as I had a feeling he would not call. Because he wants to keep things relaxed and cool.

Well this morning I get a texted from him saying I missed out on a gorgeous day. Then he asked how I was feeling. Which I thought was nice of him, so check up on me. I haven't replied to him yet. As I am home sick from work..

Comment #9

I am just assuming that he is wanting to be relaxed and cool about things...

Comment #10

Yes do it if you feel comfortable but if you don't then don't feel obliged.

,..

Comment #11

Yes group activities are a great way to get to know someone - there's something to talk about and share and you can get to know each other in a comfortable, fun way..

,..

Comment #12

Yes if you don't want to date using Match.com him -what is the deal breaker - the question seems to be answered.

,..

Comment #13


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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