Your question was: Are there any free websites similar to match.com?.
LOL I read that yesterday and thought of posting it here I have to say... I agree. Men would be thrilled to date using Match.com a smart, beautiful, or social woman. There's no such thing as being "too good". Being a female I would never dream of turning down a guy I really liked because I thought he was "TOO" good!! Unless I had some serious self-esteem issues, which I don't. That is nuts.I think "I'm too pretty" or "I'm too smart" or "he's intimidated by me" are excuses made up by women amongst their girl friends in order to make themselves or one another feel better about being rejected or things not working out.
Edited 12/22/2008 12:13 pm ET by eggbertshootseggs..
I agree with you. However, it's easy to fall into the "He's intimidated by me" trap when you're younger. There ARE men out there who seem to be intimidated by successful women. I have a friend who is a fellow teacher, but she also owns a very successful business. A lot of guys she has met have not been able to deal with her not needing their money. Some have said things like "I can't go out with a woman who makes so much money.
Because of cases like this, it's easy for many successful women to assume "He was intimidated by me - that's why it didn't work out!" when it was something else altogether..
The 'too-beautiful' thing made me want to gag. Puh-leeze..
I have to get back to that nice guy comment in the other thread, though. Men aren't innocent of some of these things either. I honestly feel that truly nice guys meet nice women all the time. But when a guy feels he has to.
(1) go out of his way to prove that he's nice,.
(2) spend a great a deal of time making sure people know he's hard-working and blah, blah, blah.
(3) make comments like "How could you have gone out with that guy? Look at him!" or "Women always go for the ones who treat them badly. I'm nice, dammit!".
..it's actually quite annoying and can turn a nice gal off. It can be boring as well. So, a lot of these guys adopt the attitude "I'm too nice - that's why she dumped me!".
CL - Women of Color ..
Oh I totally agree - but also, those men have bad attitudes or self-esteem problems and are probably not really good dating (online dating with Match.com) material to begin with!!..
I thnk it hits the nail on the head for many women - they'll find ANY reason to believe that men aren't clamoring at their feet rather than face teh fact that the reason they aren't has to do with their ATTITUDES!I think the author should also add this one:He's not dumping you because he's scared. he's dumping you because he doesn't see you as being IT for him. Period..
The points are not out-of-the-question. Some people think they are not good enough for x person. My first date using Match.com with one guy was good. On our second date using Match.com we were sitting in the restaurant and he was staring at me so I was like, what is it? And he goes, "Why are you going out with me?" lol I was like "What do you mean.." I honestly didn't know what he was asking. He said, "No, really, I mean, look at you. Everything about you is so amazing. Why in the world are you out with me?" I said because he was nice and I because I wanted to get to know him. .
But his query really put me off. If -he- didn't think he was good enough for me to go out with, then why should I go out with him? Well, besides that he became unbelievably rude for some reason. Just ridiculous.. So I never spoke to him again. .
But anyways, I know it's possible for a guy to not go out with a girl because he thinks she's too good for him. ..
>>But anyways, I know it's possible for a guy to not go out with a girl because he thinks she's too good for him. <<.
I don't think anyone is disputing that. Heck, I had a guy tell me the same nonsense. We're saying that it's not *always* the reason.
CL - Women of Color ..
But anyways, I know it's possible for a guy to not go out with a girl because he thinks she's too good for him.>>I agree this can happen, but if a woman is saying "I'm too ____ for him" about nearly all the men she dates, then it's not the guy or guys. It's HER.
Interesting. It is helpful to have a 'closure' conversation so that you don't feel totally in the dark about the guy's reasonings and aren't blinded to things that you might be doing wrong - i.e.: being too needy, too self absorbed., etc. But you also don't want to get totally caught up in wondering about how he feels, what he thinks, etc. This is about you at this point, what you need to heal, and what you need to learn so that you'll make better choices the next time.