candidablog.com

Are the guys on eharmony any better than match.com or yahoo?

Want the Latest Match.com Coupons Every Month?


Enter your email address below and we'll send you the latest coupon codes every month. We'll even give a lucky person a free 3 month offer.


My first question is: Are the guys on eharmony any better than match.com or yahoo?.

My next question is: Hi ladys , I need to know why is it the so many really beautiful girls are with average or below average looking guys. I am not ugly , nor am I anything to write home about. But I need some advice on how to land a hot date. Thanks..

Comments (27)

Your question was: Are the guys on eharmony any better than match.com or yahoo?.

Depends how old you are, my friend.These tactics will kind of work if you're in your early twenties, but much beyond that and most women will think you're a jerk who's not boyfriend material. Women of any type of intelligence at all will see through the mask you are recommending because that type of behavior is a big red flag denoting self-esteem issues. No woman wants to be with that because those issues come up once you get to know each other. Yuck.I've dated guys who acted like you said, and guess what...I'm no longer with them. I've got a guy who treats me like gold and vice versa. What you're advocating is treating women like their likes and dislikes and opinions don't matter...and any girl who goes for that has her own issues as well. Good luck with that...

Comment #1

"What are a couple of examples? Don't ask for her number (asking leaves an open end to say "no"), TELL her to give you her number. If she's wearing rings, DEMAND that she take them off so you can hold her hand later.

Contradict her on EVERYTHING. Hot women grow bored with men who agree with everything she says. If she tells you the plot about a movie she likes, say "Wow, that sounds really stupid." If she tells you about her girlfriend's boyfriend is being such a jerk to her, say "I'm going to side with the dude on this one."If she puts on a radio station, say "Yeah, we are NOT listening to that" and flip the station.

When a woman realizes she cannot conquer your will, she will then want to conquer your body..

Am I wrong?".

 .

Lmao your whole post is so funny! and so wrong on so many levels  ..

Comment #2

Either have a lot of money, a really powerful personality, or be a successful musician. Seriously. I know the girls you're talking about and they're with guys who have at least one of these three. If you don't then you have no chance...

Comment #3

<<Am I wrong?>>Laughably so - what are you? 15?No GOOD woman with any kind of self esteem would tolerate what you suggest. A desperate insecure one maybe. But then those are the ones you just get laid by right?By the way, what happened with the date using Match.com from the pizza parlor?.

Toni..

Comment #4

>>Either have a lot of money, a really powerful personality, or be a successful musician.

Seriously. I know the girls you're talking about and they're with guys who have at least one of these three. If you don't then you have no chance.<<.

Right...

Believe it or not, there are still people out there who love their partners for THEMSELVES..

CL - Women of Color  ..

Comment #5

>>what are you? 15?<<.

That age sounds about right. OMG, those are such stupid games!.

>>A desperate insecure one maybe. But then those are the ones you just get laid by right?<<.

Probably. Which is fine for someone who wants nothing more..

CL - Women of Color  ..

Comment #6

"Am I wrong?"You have the right idea, but subtlety is key. Those ideas might work to get you laid, but in the end when the girl looks back on the encounter, she's not going to see it positively. She'll probably feel the need to chase and conquer, but in the end she'll look back and say, "that guy was a dick." I would say acting "uninterested" without being a jerk would work better. Treat her like she's just a friend. This gets me everytime. If I like a guy and he's paying me no attention, then my interest is piqued.

Example: I was out at a bar where a band that I'm friends with were playing. The drummer of the band and I are having a little fling. I don't know what it was about tonight, because usually I have my "don't hit on me face" on and nobody bothers me. Maybe it was because I wasn't at my regular hangout. Anyway, all these losers were hitting on me and getting PISSED when I turned them down.

He wasn't a jerk about it, but I was put off. NOW, I'm starting to think about him more and can't wait to see him again. When we first started hooking up, I wasn't really interested, it was just for fun. But I think it's just because he acted "unavailable" to me, now I'm starting to see him differently. Moral of the story: If a girl asks you to pretend to be her boyfriend for the night-Don't do it!..

Comment #7

Sorry but that's why really hot girls go for below average guys even though you don't want to believe it. It's either money or power. That doesn't mean he can't be a nice guy, but he has to have something hot girls want that they can't get from a guy who isn't even close to their own level of attractiveness. I haven't seen ANY evidence otherwise. Besides, if his first criteria is "hot" then he probably doesn't care about who a girl is inside, so why should she care about what his heart is like? Shallow attracts shallow. It's just reality...

Comment #8

@toonitoons "Laughably so - what are you? 15?"I'm 23.Really, I sound like I'm 15? 'Cause I sometimes feel like a bitter old man in a young man's body. I've had some pretty bad dating (online dating with Match.com) and relationship (thru Match.com) experiences that I don't want to relive; that's what drives me. I forget who, but there was a woman on this forum who said that many grown women have teenage personalities, so I take that into account when I'm dating."No GOOD woman with any kind of self esteem would tolerate what you suggest. A desperate insecure one maybe. But then those are the ones you just get laid by right?"brknhrtdfool did not say he wants a "GOOD woman with any kind of self esteem." He wants a wants a beautiful girl. A girl, not a woman.

Having always been placated and never had many challenging life experience, their confidence hasn't been calloused and hardened, so they're soft on the inside (in more ways than 1, if you KWIM)Personally, I don't see anything wrong with strategizing on this fact in dating (online dating with Match.com) in sex. If I waited for a girl who was beautiful AND had a strong, secure self esteem, I would probably still be a virgin."By the way, what happened with the date using Match.com from the pizza parlor?"I'm seeing her again Thursday night (phew, dodged a bullet that night) I did what someone else suggested and just laughed it off saying, "we're not going to THAT place again.".

Edited 1/20/2009 9:56 pm ET by cp85..

Comment #9

@twirlyfry "Example: I was out at a bar where a band that I'm friends with were playing. The drummer of the band and I are having a little fling. I don't know what it was about tonight, because usually I have my "don't hit on me face" on and nobody bothers me. Maybe it was because I wasn't at my regular hangout. Anyway, all these losers were hitting on me and getting PISSED when I turned them down. So I asked drummer boy to pretend to be my boyfriend for the night and he refused, saying he does that all the time and to just go tell the bartender if I had any problems.

NOW, I'm starting to think about him more and can't wait to see him again. When we first started hooking up, I wasn't really interested, it was just for fun. But I think it's just because he acted "unavailable" to me, now I'm starting to see him differently."You are the most emotionally honest girl I've ever met (err, read). For the first time in a long time, I think I'm in love...

Comment #10

@colters_mom "What you're advocating is treating women like their likes and dislikes and opinions don't matter...and any girl who goes for that has her own issues as well."No, because if I believed their likes, dislikes and opinions don't matter, I would simply ignore them. I CHALLENGE them, and her...

Comment #11

Yah, but it's a FAKE and LAME attempt.  If you genuinely disagree, then fine.  But purposefully disagreeing as some tactic to try and get the girl is just silly. .

Besides that, even if you disagree, there's no grounds to relay that in a mean or condescending way or denigrate the girl every chance you get.   Playful banter is good.  What you are suggesting is  sophomoric...

Comment #12

What you're saying is that your looks and personality are simply not enough to get the girl so you have to resort to these strategies of yours.  That's pretty sad. ..

Comment #13

Is that really the moral of your story? .

Yah, his brushing you off got YOU interested in HIM.  But he brushed you off because he is not interested in you.  Yes, you guys have what you call "a fling", but that's it. .

So the moral of the story is you *and just specifically you* seem to like guys who ignore you.  But where does that really get you if you like them and they dont like you back? .

Take a moment to think about that one...

 ..

Comment #14

"Either have a lot of money, a really powerful personality, or be a successful musician. ".

 .

This is hilarious.. my boyfriend's all three.. lol..

Comment #15

@blairbear89 "Yah,"YAH! CASE CLOSED!jk"but it's a FAKE and LAME attempt. If you genuinely disagree, then fine. But purposefully disagreeing as some tactic to try and get the girl is just silly. Besides that, even if you disagree, there's no grounds to relay that in a mean or condescending way or denigrate the girl every chance you get. Playful banter is good. What you are suggesting is sophomoric."You know what? You're right.

Unfortunately, so are a lot of attractive young women, which is why it works (like attracts like)"What you're saying is that your looks and personality are simply not enough to get the girl so you have to resort to these strategies of yours. That's pretty sad."The sad truth is that too many hot girls are too immature and spoiled to appreciate even great looks and personality. ALL women appreciate an assertive and challenging persona. That I'm absolutely sure of.These strategies are just a natural expression of my personality today. I used to be a considerate, trusting person, but I was weak willed and complacent.

But hey; it works, and surprisingly fast. I'm no player by a long shot. I haven't slept with tonnes and tonnes of girls. In fact, I've known guys who're younger than me who score twice as often with twice as many girls, but that's because they don't take the time to weed out the flakes, the psychos and the drug addicts like I do (I dated a coke addict once, and that was, needless to say, a nightmare)But I'm pretty average looking and I've luckily managed to score some banging-hot tail; a dancer, a stage actress, 2 models; girls who could be in magazines and billboards ( actually 1 girl did make it into a magazine). And considering the difficulty I used to have with girls, there's absolutely no reason it can't work for brknhrtdfool either.

Edited 1/21/2009 1:38 am ET by cp85..

Comment #16

I totally understand.  You're just doing what you found works for you.  I'd rock that too.  And I understand too about being jaded - I am actually really untrusting! .

Anyways, right now, you are happy with these shallow girls and then at some point things will evolve when you're ready for women of more substance.  And then hopefully you'll find a way to get those girls along the lines of being yourself + being neither a pushover or an a-hole..

Comment #17

Is his name Ben? LOL I think I've dated him too..

Comment #18

>>Sorry but that's why really hot girls go for below average guys even though you don't want to believe it. It's either money or power. That doesn't mean he can't be a nice guy, but he has to have something hot girls want that they can't get from a guy who isn't even close to their own level of attractiveness. I haven't seen ANY evidence otherwise.<<.

I have. I know couples like this who are together just because they LIKE each other. In some of the cases, the woman is the one with the money.

I have to remember that I'm from a totally different place culturally when I'm replying to these posts...

CL - Women of Color  ..

Comment #19

<<Really, I sound like I'm 15? 'Cause I sometimes feel like a bitter old man in a young man's body. I've had some pretty bad dating (online dating with Match.com) and relationship (thru Match.com) experiences that I don't want to relive; that's what drives me. >>Hon, here is some advice from an older lady who has seen a thing or two:Being bitter only breeds more of the same - remember like attracts like. YOu are looking to hook up with hot girls and use tactics that work to 'hook up' what it seems you aren't doing is also learning how to relate in a manner that builds self confidence and wisdom on how to limit negative experiences and capitialize on good ones. By just focusing on one thing - what works to hook up - you only get good at that one thing - hooking up. By the time you hit 30 - you will be no better at 'relating' than you are now.

Build a bridge and get over it. Successful people don't dwell on what happened in the past other than the lesson they learned from the experience. They aren't afraid to risk 'losing' something they truly desire. You see this in business as well as in relationship. An unsuccessful person uses every bump and setback as a reason to stop moving forward.

REgardless of if you are looking for casual dating (online dating with Match.com) or not right now - ALWAYS treat those you meet with teh same kindness and respect you want to be treated with. People have a tendency to treat others in the same manner they have been treated - and then wonder why people respond badly. Anger causes more anger. Bitterness causes more bitterness. Kindness causes more kindness.

YOu can either take them all personally and be bitter aobut it - or you can see them as the character and wisdom building lessons they are - this is what prepares you for the future - the difficulties that you face today. You might want to read the Four Agreements - I forget the authors name - it's an easy read and very enlightening. You are too young to be bitter. Its like poison that taints every aspect of life - no one wants to be around bitter negative people for very long. Find a way to let go of the things that hurt you and forgive those who did it.

Toni..

Comment #20

That could very well be it. In the US when you're in your 20s, you have to have something that women can't get from a guy who is on her level of attractiveness...

Comment #21

A lot can be said for confidence and stability. A good looking guy with baggage is a pain in the @#$ if you know what I mean. But the same can be said about women. I have been told that I am attractive and that I could do better with the guys that I pick But I have dated attractive guys and they have been the worst dates I have ever been on! I had this one guy ask me out and he was a total BORE, when he ran out of things to say (it took about 5 minutes), he showed me the contents of his freezer and then introduced me to his laundry detergent. But he was really good looking and it was a shame to call the night off early.  Then another guy ask me out (It made me dizzy to look at him, he was so attractive) and he had his stripper friend meet up with us. Needless to say that night didn't go very well at all..

 There is this energy that I should be lucky to be there with them and grateful for the opportunity to have their attention. I hate this trait in anyone. If there is a completion with the person and that completion is their ego then you are surly going to loose..

It sounds like you are looking for physical attraction right now though and maybe no deep relationship? Then go clubbing and see what you can catch. If you really are looking for a deep relationship (thru Match.com) than look with your heart and not your eyes. There are tons of pretty girls out there looking for the right guy.

A huge turn off is also a guy who is worried about his own looks. If you don't think that you are attractive enough for a "hot" chick than she will pick that up and move on. Just be fun and relaxed and easy to talk to and nice but confident and not needy. Give her something to challenge her to get your attention though and she will be interested in knowing more about you so it will be easier to start a friendship that could turn into a relationship. Also, and this is a big one, Don't talk to her about how you want a Hot GF!.

Good luck.

 ..

Comment #22

"Successful people don't dwell on what happened in the past other than the lesson they learned from the experience.".

 .

I luuuv this line, it is so true!!..

Comment #23

>>Yah, his brushing you off got YOU interested in HIM.  But he brushed you off because he is not interested in you.  Yes, you guys have what you call "a fling", but that's it. .

So the moral of the story is you *and just specifically you* seem to like guys who ignore you.  But where does that really get you if you like them and they dont like you back? <<.

I agree with this. I find that a lot of women go down this road and then wonder "Why isn't he calling?" or "Is he using me?".

Good advice..

CL - Women of Color  ..

Comment #24

"You are the most emotionally honest girl I've ever met (err, read). For the first time in a long time, I think I'm in love."Haha, thanks. I like to help in anyway I can. I don't mind sharing my experiences, lol!..

Comment #25

"Is that really the moral of your story? Yah, his brushing you off got YOU interested in HIM. But he brushed you off because he is not interested in you. Yes, you guys have what you call "a fling", but that's it. So the moral of the story is you *and just specifically you* seem to like guys who ignore you. But where does that really get you if you like them and they dont like you back? Take a moment to think about that one.."*Sigh* Ok, he didn't brush me off. Like I said, he wasn't being a jerk about it.

In him doing that, I realized it was a stupid girl thing for me to even ask in the first place. I guess you had to be there. He was actually really concerned that I was being bothered and he gave me a more logical alternative than pretending to be my boyfriend. So instead of "yeah babe, I'll be your boyfriend (wink, wink)" he told me the bartender would take care of me if anyone was giving me trouble. Maybe I should have explained it more....I don't like guys who "ignore" me.

I am NOT going to fall all over myself trying to get a guy to notice me. I'm not even going to TRY and get anyone to notice me that hasn't already shown some sort of interest. What I don't like, is guys that act like desperate fools and then badger me for my number. I want a guy that is nice, but plays it cool when he's interested. I never said anything about being ignored.

All I'm saying is that it made me look at him in a different light, it made him ever so slightly more desirable. Trust me, if he doesn't like me back, I won't lose any sleep over it. We're friends and he's a really nice guy. He's not using me anymore than I'm using him. Maybe down the line something will develop, but it's still too early in our "fling" to even think about it.

I text him if I have something worthwhile to tell him and he always texts me right back and vice versa. I see him when I see him and we have a good time. I don't know what else to say about it...

Comment #26

How do you know you're not hot? Because you don't look like a guy on the cover of a fashion mag? Seriously, and maybe what's "not hot" to you may be "super hot" to the girl. For instance, me myself I like a guy with a bit of meat on him. As in, what some guys might consider overweight. Plus, guys are a lot shyer towards girls than girls are to guys, so sometimes it's a matter of who gets there first! There's no harm in hitting on a really hot girl. Girls like *confidence* a LOT. If you don't have it fake it til you make it. Good Luck!..

Comment #27


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

Categories: Home | Aug 2010 - Acne | Aug 2010 - Weight Loss | July 2010 - Weight Loss |

July 2010 - Crohn's Disease | July 2010 - Celiac Disease | June 2010 - Weight Loss | June 2010 - Acne |

May 2010 - Weight Loss | May 2010 - Acne | April 2010 - Weight Loss | Mar 2010 - Weight Loss |

Mar 2010 - Dieting | Mar 2010 - Acne | Feb 2010 - Weight Loss | Feb 2010 - Dieting |

Jan 2010 - Dieting | Jan 2010 - Acne | Jan 2010 - Weight Loss | Dec 2009 - Acne |

Dec 2009 - Dieting | Dec 2009 - Weight Loss | Nov 2009 - Weight Loss | Nov 2009 - Dieting |

Oct 2009 - Dieting | Oct 2009 - Fitness | Oct 2009 - Weight Loss | Sep 2009 - Weight Loss |

Sep 2009 - Dieting | Aug 2009 - Dieting | Aug 2009 - Weight Loss | July 2009 - Weight Loss |

July 2009 - Dieting | Jun 2009 - Weight Loss | June 2009 - Dieting | May 2009 - Weight Loss |

May 2009 - Dieting | April 2009 - Weight Loss | April 2009 - Dieting | March 2009 - Weight Loss |

Feb 2009 - Weight Loss | Jan 2009 - Weight Loss | Dec 2008 - Weight Loss | Dec 2008 - Diet Programs |

Dec 2008 - Dieting | Dec 2008 - Diets | Nov 2008 - Dieting |

 

(C) Copyright 2010 All rights reserved.