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Anyone using Match.com in Oregon?

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My question is: Anyone using Match.com in Oregon?.

My 2nd question is: The guy I have been dating (online dating with Match.com) for the past 3 months, works a job that requires him to travel frequently. The past few weeks he has been gone the entire work week and sometimes on the weekend too.

When he is out of town I don't expect to hear from him every day because he is busy working, has to share a room with a few other guys, and sometimes they go out at night. However, he usually finds some time to text me a few times a week. We keep the conversations brief and always via text. I'm am completely fine with this..

The past 2 weeks, he hasn't been texting me much while out of town, maybe once a week. Normally I would dismiss it as him being busy or out with the guys. However, when I sign into the dating (online dating with Match.com) site we met on, I have him saved as a favorite so he shows up on my homepage. The homepage tells you when they were last signed on. He has been signing onto the dating (online dating with Match.com) site every night. We are not exclusive so technically he's not doing anything wrong..

What bothers me (truthfully it hurts me) is the fact that he can find the time to go down to the hotel's computer, log into a dating (online dating with Match.com) site, and check out other girls, but he can't find the time to text me a few nights a week? I do hear from him about once a week and when he is home or I would assume he was blowing me off..

Is it wrong that this hurts me? He's telling me he's not that into me, right? Would this bug you? What would you do if you were me?..

Comments (8)

I'd be disappointed too. It's okay to feel a certain way sometimes, even if it's not "technically acceptable". I agree with rocknrollgal that after three months with him, maybe it is time for you to get proactive about what you'd like to have happen with this guy...

Comment #1

No it's not wrong that it bothers you...you like him. But you guys are not exclusive so let it go. And dont let him know just yet that it bothers you. Not yet anyway...

Comment #2

It would hurt me and bug me too. I agree with everyone's advice to you.Hang in there. Don't sit around waiting for him. Stay busy. See how things unfold. It is still a bit early in the game. I hope things work out for you...

Comment #3

It's understandable that you're feeling the way you do. You like him and he seems to be more interested in other women that he hasn't met yet than he is in you. You are right that it's sending out the message that he's not that into you.Three months is a fairly long time to date using Match.com each other without becoming exclusive. I think you need to have a talk with him when he gets back. If he cares about you and wants to be with you, then he should be willing to stop seeing other women. If he won't, then he's not looking for the same thing you are and it's best to let him go. If he won't come around after three months, then don't expect anything to change...

Comment #4

That would bother me too...not so much that he's online, since you're not exclusive, but that he's spending time online instead of contacting you..

You really need to be dating (online dating with Match.com) other people so you're not so focused on what he's doing or not doing..

Sheri..

Comment #5

Yes... this is a huge red flag for me!  If he is logging on to dating (online dating with Match.com) site every night instead of texting or calling you... well, he's just not into you..

What do youdo??? FORGET about him... why would you settle for his crumbs.  Start dating (online dating with Match.com) other people.  Don't waste anymore time on him.   MOVE ON from him and start living life to the fullest... have some fun and date using Match.com lots of guys.. I've been there and when a guy starts doing this, it only gets worse.  Leave him now and tell him why.  And unless he agrees to go exclusive, don't ever look back..

Good luck girlfriend...

Comment #6

Have you considered that when he logs on to the dating (online dating with Match.com) site that he sees you as being active on the site every day too given that you are logging in daily as well?.

Why is it OK for you to do this, but not him?..

Comment #7

Yeah, I've thought about that. But, it isn't so much that he is online, but that he has time to get online, but does not have time to text or call me. I didn't text or call him because he was travelling for work and I never know when he is off work or with his coworkers.

Some of it probably is a little bit of jealousy because I want to be exclusive, but don't want to rush him..

Update: He text me this morning to chat while he worked, but I couldn't talk because of stuff going on at my job. I told him I couldn't talk and asked him to text me tonight, which he did. I was glad to hear from him and I am trying to get it to sink in that if I want something from him, I have to come out and ask for it. I'm not always good at that...

Comment #8


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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