I wasn't thinking of having him over for a romantic dinner. In fact my 11 year old son will be there. (whom he has never met). Just thought I would be nice and extend the invitation. Do you think that would be pushing it when he could clearly see that I'm not expecting intimacy? Especially if my son is there?..
Too soon to have him over to dinner and definitely too soon to introduce him to your son, IMO..
And I wouldn't call him unless you want to be the pursuer for the rest of your relationship. But don't you want a guy who's interested enough in you to call and ask you out?.
Absolutely do not invite him for dinner with your son. Like Sheri said, assuming that you ARE interested in him romantically, it is too early to invite him to dinner at your house and WAY too early to introduce him to your son..
Frankly, you did the asking last time. If he's interested, he'll ask you. He doesn't sound all that interested. The second date, he was likely giving it a second go because while he liked you, he might have been unsure about you. The third time, you asked him and many people find it hard to say no to an invite even if they are not interested - they are trying to not be rude or hurt the other person's feelings. If he IS interested in seeing you again, he knows where to find you so he'll ask..
You can put yourself out there but not at the same time. An idea: if you feel comfortable calling him and discussing this, why not just say "I am interested in going out with you again but I cant tell if you are also interested based on how you have been behaving. So..if you are interested I'd like you to call me and if you dont call me I'll assume you are not interested but I thought one of us should be clear about his or her intentions."..
Thanks for the advice! I actually thought about saying something like that to him. I did call him tonight and he gave me a run down of what he is doing tomorrow before I ever brought up having him over for dinner-so I already knew he was going to be very busy. I asked him anyway, and he said he was going to be busy of course. He was out of breath when I called him. He said that he was doing laundry and cleaning off his desk. I told him he sounded out of breath. He then asked me if I have that effect on men. I told him it depended on the man I guess. I told him I hadn't figured him out yet. He just laughed. It's like he says things to keep my interest or to at least think that he is somewhat interested but then at the same time acts like he's not. Maybe I should just ask him like you said...
I don't like being told what to do and I think different things work for different people, so what I do when I respond here typically is I share what I have done or what I would do and you take whatever you want from it. Hopefully it helps somehow : ).
Ok now.. I don't ever ask guys out - ever. I know others are fine with it, but me personally, I just don't. .
I just want to warn you that words are very very different from actions. .
I am never ever led on by words. They need to show me. That means doing sweet and thoughtful things.. the very basic of that is actually asking me out. That's like square-one. If he's not even doing that, he's already lost my interest. And here's the thing, esp in the beginning, I'm not thinking about whether he is interested in me.. I'm thinking about whether I am interested in *him*. It's not about them, it's about me.. If he's already stressing me out, having me wonder, or annoying me in the very beginning, I'm already over it. I don't go out with guys like that. It's straight-forward or not at all. .
Welcome to the board - sorry for jumping in late. I was sick over the weekend and wasn't into being on the computer..
I agree that this is too early for your son to meet your new guy, but I'd be sure he knows about him. And I like our Doyenne's advice to let him do the majority of the pursueing. It's early in your relationship. Give it some time..