Your question was: Anyone know that Match.com commercial song?.
Before you make any moves or commitments to your ex, make sure he honors his promises. Tell him that you'd be happy to discuss matters once he is out of that house and on two steady feet. If you dont handle it that way, you could end up losing both of them. He has no business asking you to break things off with your new guy when he was the one who was not sure about your relationship...
After reading your situation, it is very similar to my current situation. My ex and I broke up at the beginning on June and all through the summer we had been talking and I thought we were working things out. But little did I know, he was pursuing a girl he had been friends with for years and had had a crush on ever since they met. It ended up that he didn't want to lose me and was still in love with me, but had this big crush on her and wanted to pursue things with her. So, when I was out with a girlfriend in September, (yes, things with my ex dragged out till this point) I ended up talking to a guy and he asked for my number at the end of the night. I was in no position to be picking up guys and this guy just came at the right time I guess.
I kept in contact with my ex, as he found a way to always come back to me, even after we agreed not to contact each other anymore. My ex came to the point where he missed me and loved me and no other girl compared to me. He went to a dating (online dating with Match.com) site and went on dates with a few girls, because I had moved on, but he told me that they just weren't me. He continued to tell me how much I meant to him and how I was the perfect girl for him, but he didn't realize it when we were still together. A week ago, I found out that he was dating (online dating with Match.com) that chick he had the crush on for so many years, but he told me that things with her weren't going to last and she wasn't the person she was back when they first met.Needless to say, my ex has come around and realized that he wants me in his life and he wants to be with me, yet it took me finding a new guy for him to realize this.
He has told me that I need to continue pursuing things with the new guy to see what happens and I plan on doing just that. My opinion on the whole situation is that I tried for months to convince him not to give up on us, but it did not stop him from pursuing the other girl. Now, I have decided to cut off contact with my ex and see where things go with the new guy. I don't see it being worthwhile to give up on a new relationship (thru Match.com) and the possibilities of things working out with him and having a successful relationship. I know that my ex and I had problems in our relationship, which is why we broke up.
I figure that if things do not work out with the new guy, then maybe I will contact my ex and see where things go from there.So, to sum things up, I think you should continue seeing the new guy and don't give up the new relationship (thru Match.com) to go back to what is comfortable for you. I am having troubles not going back to my ex because of the history we have together and the comfort I feel with him, but I do not want to give up on my fresh start in my new relationship. Good luck in your decision. Just think about yourself and your happiness first!..
You can be sure I have to feel positive about my ex's feelings, before I "choose" him. I talked to him again tonight and he was so wonderful. He says he feels like when we first met, almost giddy. We never had any problems in our relationship (thru Match.com) except him trying to get over his messing up his previous one. I know he is being honest. But sometimes people are confused about their feelings and he has to feel like this for several weeks at least.
He says he realized that he could lose someone very special.I feel like I must prepare this dear, sweet new guy. I will be dishonest if I don't say anything. It kills me to think of hurting him. I think I will tell him that "My old boyfriend called me and wants to see me again. It stirred up a lot of feelings in meand I am very confused.
Are you willing to stay by me, while I think this through? I will not be seeing him."scrsnwbrdr: I think you are doing the right thing in your situation. I wish you lots of luck. It's just that I think we have a very good chance, if his feelings really are true...
I found your story interesting because many people find themselves in your situation. They wonder whether to wait for the guy to be over his *thing* for the girl or move on. My sense is that if a guy is willing to lose you for a crush or sex or for the ego gratification of it all, then he couldnt have been very interested in you to start. .
So when a guy says that he didnt realize what he had until he lost it - he's full of sh*t. He knew very well what he had...he just bet long and lost, but they think it sounds better to say that they have learned from this experience. He knew he had a good thing but he decided to take a chance on getting his cake and eating it. It is all about getting his cake and eating it because of entitlement. Because of entitlement some men feel that they are owed something from this world and it usually revolves around sex and money. They can come running back and profess all of this newfound wisdom but in the meantime they are still going at it with another woman. They just dont want to end up alone. Many of those types of guys like women fighting over them because they are insecure. That thought leads me to another reason why some men do what your ex did - they'll claim that it is so rare for them to encounter a woman who makes a move to have sex with them that they revert back to a high schooler and get to live out that life long fantasy...not caring what it does to you or to your heart or to your relationship...because they finally got laid by the type of woman they always wanted. That insecure heart of theirs took hold and then they get remorseful and worry and wonder if you are cheating on them and then it all falls apart...because of selfishness..
For me..if you are stupid enough to risk losing me then I know you cant care that much (in addition to being stupid) and I dont find those to be appealing characteristics. A man who loves you will not take any chances in letting you go or doing something that callous to your heart (needing to fulfill a crush). They love themselves...that's all..
Stick with the new guy. Some women are fooled by their exes persistence. Some people are not persistent because they care. Some people are persistent because now it has become a chase...for the drama kings...
Oh my goodness Snafu2007:.
You hit the nail exactly on the head....
I hope for your sake that you take the advice from Snafu2007 - I've been there done that and sticking with the ex will only cause you pain, drama and chaos..
I tried to email you back but it keeps failing. Let me know if you got it.
Update:I am back with my ex-boyfriend. He has been wonderful, telling me all the things I need to hear.The new boyfriend, a wonderful man, whom I was starting to fall in love with, has taken it hard. I feel terribly guilty, and I do miss him. In this situation you can only do the best you can and listen to your heart. Sure, I am scared to death that I may have made a wrong decision. We all want the storybook ending.I hope 2008 will finally be the year I have been waiting for and for all of you too...
I understand about having feeling for an ex, but why in the world would you give up a great guy that you have strong feelings for, to take back an ex who "thinks" he can commit? Also, would you be breaking up with the new guy if the ex was not back in the picture, if not, that should tell you something right there. If the ex needs a few weeks to get out of his house or whatever, tell him to give you a call when he really has his sh*t together and then you can talk. I wouldn't put my life on hold so he can figure out what he wants. Not knowing why the two of you broke up, puts me at a disadvantage when assessing your situation, but if you guys ended things because he couldn't get married, nothing short of him showing up on my doorstep with a ring would make me take him back. However, no matter what it was that caused the break up, he should have a clear plan of how that is going to change if you two are together. If he can't do the thing to commit that caused you breakup (ie getting engaged, not dating (online dating with Match.com) other people or whatever it was) then you shouldn't even entertain the idea of allowing him back in.