So let me get this right. You say that he's "aloof" and "disconnected" MOST of the time, right? So what is it about aloof and disconnected men that you love so much?.
So to me, in order for you to get any kind of healing, I would be curious how you'd be able to honestly answer that question...
I am sorry for the hurt and pain you are going through now. Here is my experience on healing..
First dont get in a hurry to get through it. Allow yourself to have all the feelings, hurt, anger, tears, laugh, remember the good times and bad times. Take this time to do things YOU like, be very selfish, go out with gf's, family. Find things you are interested in and do them. Do some deep soul searching as to what you really want in a man and in your life. Above all do not even think about dating (online dating with Match.com) or finding someone else at this time. When you are through the grieving/healing process both your head and your heart will know. This healing time as a norm usually lasts about a year, it's different for each person..
As for the nightmares, that is all your feelings and thoughts jumbled into a mess and that is how it manifests itself. These will end too..
I wish you well.
Powered by CGISpy.com.
My next door neighbor.
Wants to ban all guns.
THEIR HOUSE IS UNARMED.
Out of respect for their opinion I will not protect.
Them with my guns..
My honest answer to this is I love the man not the behavior. The behavior and not the love is the reason we are no longer together. I am in counseling and working on the whole being attracted to unavailable men even if I had no clue when I met him 3 years ago that he was aloof and disconnected. I am learning that the time to make the right decision about this man is before I fall in love with him and the moment he first indicates his aloofness and disconnectedness. Does that answer your question??..
It's nice to know that you ARE in fact seeking professional help. I asked that question, NOT for me, but for you. I know why you date using Match.com aloof and disconnected men. It's b/c that's what you know how to do. How do I know this is true? You do it.
I'm not quite sure what the difference is between, "the guy" and his "behavior." I know for me, we ARE our behavior. We act out our thoughts most of the time, and our actions, really... ARE who we are. You may think of it in different terminology, and that's fine, I'm just saying who he is as a guy, IS... his behaviors..
Again, I'm glad you're seeking help and I'm sure if you're serious about wanting help, you'll come to understand why you do what you do..