Your question was: Anyone ever try E-Harmony or Match.com?.
Does he change the subject to himself or is he dealing with a problem he is having? This tells me he is just into what you are talking about and has his mind on other things. I have been guilty of this very thing sometimes, it just means that something is on my mind at the time..
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My next door neighbor.
Wants to ban all guns.
THEIR HOUSE IS UNARMED.
Out of respect for their opinion I will not protect.
Them with my guns..
Is there any pattern to the subject that he wanders off from? Are you talking about serious stuff when he changes the subject?Sounds like it may be a weird quirk for him, not all men do this..
Yeah, my BF does this too. He's borderline autistic so he comes by it honestly, however, it's still annoying. I've tried being polite about it, just ignoring it and continuing on with the conservation without mentioning it... but, seriously, always being the polite one gets old after a while. So lately, when he does this, I'll just completely stop what I'm saying and won't respond to what he says either. I'll just walk off and do something else if I can.
He's better about it these days - actually I don't think he even realized he was being rude. Yeah, I know, I've taken the passive-aggressive route. Honestly, I didn't know what else to do... nothing else worked...
I think it is more of a people issue than a male issue. it could be that for whatever reason he wants to steer the conversation. It could be that the person is stressed, or is selfish or isnt invested in you one way or another...
Yea, you are right...after talking this out with him, I realized that something was on his mind...but let's see how he does in our future conversations.....
No I wasn't really talking about serious stuff this time and not sure if it's a weird quirk...but let's see what happens in the future.....
I like your idea about ignoring him as well...let's see what he does in the future and I just might use your idea......
Yea since this is a new relationship, I'm still trying to figure out if he feels invested in me one way or another...or is just selfish.....
>>I think it is more of a people issue than a male issue<<.
I agree. All kinds of people do this. My SO does it once in a while, and not just to me so I don't take it personally. I have a friend (female) who does it constantly. The weird thing is that she is the most unselfish person I've ever met; she just doesn't know how to process the information she wants to get out - she needs someone to listen NOW. I have talked to her about it though; I find that people that do this don't necessarily do it on purpose..
CL - Women of Color ..
I give you props for being straight with him and asking him why he does this. It's sounds simple, and it is, but you'd be surprised at how many people don't have the balls to be straight up..
One of the things that I've noticed about 'interrupting' type of people, is that they're usually 'approval seekers'. They interrupt, USUALLY to talk about themselves, in hopes they'll impress. They're usually oblivious to it and until people call them on it, they never know they're even doing it. And there are people that, even after calling them on it, continue. These are the types of people that are HUGE approval seekers and aren't very fun to be around..
So if your guys keeps doing this, I'd be willing to bet he's got some 'issues'..
As long as you're able to bring attention to his 'habit' without being OVERLY judgmental, I think he could benefit from your willingness to be patient and honest..
It's not uncommon. Alot of people, not just guys, are not the best listeners or ok, get a little bored if they feel someone is going on about something they're not super interested in. How are you when he is talking about things that don't excite you overmuch? Ask him if you seem to pay attention enough to him.
It's good you spoke up and he's aware and it will be good to be aware of each other's interests, habits, etc. And it sounds like you handled it well, not attacking but noting something that bothers you a bit..
I think it's perfectly nor... Hey, did you see that Giants game last wee... How about that elect... Did I tell you about my trip to Braz... Darn! My dinner is over-cook... Now where was I?..
OK wow this isnt just a man thing.....I am a woman and I do it offten. Its not that we arent listnening but something pops into our head and we think it's important, but we might forget because we are listening, yet we want to tell you. Not short attention but short memory issues LOL. Dont take it personal. I have had to explain this to lots of people...
Very funny. It's true - a guy can say and mean something in the moment then totally forget all about it. That's why actions are more important than pretty words.