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Any nice women wanting to chat to a 44 year old guy whos disheartenened with match.com?

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My first question is: Any nice women wanting to chat to a 44 year old guy whos disheartenened with match.com?.

My next question is: I don't know what to do. Me and Clint have been talking for about 4 months now. We spend every single night together we spend the night at anothers houses and yes we have hooked up! in the beginning he was distant from me he would only show me attention when we were by ourselves never in front of his friends but about a month ago he did a huge you turn and started showing me attention and holding my hand in public and letting it be known to others that we were talking. We sat down and had the talk about us being together or not and he said that he wants to ask me to be his girlfriend but he still wants to get to know me more because he knows how I am at the club and with him but he wants to know how I am around family how I am mad and all of that and he wants me to get to know him more he does not want us getting together and I find something out about him that breaks us up and breaks up our friendship. I completely understand and respect this. It did cross my mind that he could be using me for sex so I talked to him about this as well and I told him I did not want to get hurt or waist my time and he got really upset that I would even consider him to use me for sex so he said that he wants to stop hooking up so that he will prove to me that it's not about that! and he did we have not slept to together for 2 weeks then I gave in of course.

Everything was going perfect we were going to football games I bought him cologne and we have been buying each other gifts and going to Miami together and basically acting like a couple we just don't have the title. He mentioned to me that he wanted to come with me to Tennessee to meet my mom. Nobody has ever met my mom I don't let people meet my family so this was a huge deal A that he would be meeting my mom and B that he would be spending thanksgiving with me! We talked about it and I told him that it would be weird if he went with me him not being my boyfriend and all and he agreed and we left it at that! Me and him have a very open and honest relationship (thru Match.com) and since we are into official we tell each other what's going on and how we feel so we are on the same page! The day before I go to leave on thanksgiving He goes to the club instead of spending my last night in town with me. I do get upset about this and I go stop by my house and he sees I'm upset he asks me what's wrong and I tell him I have a lot of stuff on my mind. the last 3 days we have been arguing little stupid fights here and there but nothing big! So I see him and leave he goes to the club and the next day I leave to Tennessee.

I text him saying happy thanksgiving and I get no response this really upsets me because I don't know what's wrong! He does end up calling me asking about my dads Xbox we talk about that and I asked him what's going on and he said he will talk to me in person. I argue with him saying I want to know now what's going on and I asked him if he even missed me at all while I was gone and he didn't reply so I said thank you I can take a hint and again he replies we will talk face to face. I don't know why he wont talk to me he said he will call me and he never did. But what really hit the spot is when I was driving the 9 hours home my car broke down and I was stranded on the side of the highway, while I was waiting for AAA to pick me up I called him and he didn't pick up the pho ne so I left a voicemail saying I broke down and was on the side of the road. I was stuck in traffic after AAA picked me up for 3 and a half hours what was supposed to be a 9 hour drive turned I into a 13 hour drive and I still have not heard anything from Clint.

So I know Clint got my message and I talked to his friend about what was going on and I didn't know what to do! I spent the whole night tossing and turning I could not sleep knowing he knew I was broken down and he has not called me. I woke up this morning and cried my eyes out for 2 hours because I still have not had not one call or text asking me if I was ok!! I have no idea were this came from and I don't know what to do or even what to say to him when he calls even if he calls!! I don't know what to do I'm so confused...

Comments (4)

Your question was: Any nice women wanting to chat to a 44 year old guy whos disheartenened with match.com?.

Dear Krystal......

...... Total disrespect.... Life is way to short to submit yourself to that treatment!  You do not have to be there!  Trust, honesty and respect..... we all NEED these attributes in our mates!   It certainly does not appear that Clint has them! .

Men can be very disrepcectful animals.... I know.... I am one....  He does not deserve you!  Even though it is hard, let him go.....  Cry in your pillow if need be, but you DESERVE more respect than what he is showing you.  There is no excuse for that treatment.....

Good luck....  There are plenty of fish out there....  Let this one go!.

John.

 .

 ..

Comment #1

He is doing things to distance the two of you - as bf and gf. He is making sure that you do not emotionally rely on him to see you before you leave and to call him inthe event of an emergency.  It is a very cruel way of setting the tone of the relationship. You could probably do better with another guy. At least one who has a heart.  He has many things on his list that he wants to check off before he calls you girlfriend. It is one way of handling dating (online dating with Match.com) - but a little offputting. Most people go into it hoping for the best and as time moves along they make a decision one way or the other - like you said how you "are" at clubs - does that mean that you pick up guys there and he is afraid of that?..

Comment #2

No I don't flirt or pay any attention to any other guys I actually stopped talking o my ex who I was still friends with because he didn't like me talking to them. so I have cut guys out if the picture for him!! He says I'm flirty but I'm a naturally flirty person but not too much not to be disrespectful to him but to be nice! And what I meant by being at the club is because we both dance I dance hip hop and he breakdances so when we go to the club we interact with each other and all of our friends around the dancing circle so he knows how I am around his friends and I'm friends with all of his friends!!..

Comment #3

Oh, now I understand - he knows how you are so he should feel comfortable about it - I get it..

I think it is a shame that you have cut guys out of the picture for him but he is making sure to keep some space between the two of you and not be there for you emotionally when it counts.  If you permit this..you'll never feel as though the relationship (thru Match.com) consists of two people - just him steering things the way he wants it.  If he wants you to jump through hoops to prove you are "worthy" to be his gf then you might want to reconsider this guy a bf...

Comment #4


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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