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My question is: Any Match.com promo code for 30 percent off?.

My 2nd question is: He is in the military this is not unusualm, if you want a relationship (thru Match.com) with him you will have to get used to this, especially since he will be deployed soon.  This most likely means he is not allowed or can not contact anyone.  There is a board here on IV that is for military wives, but you dont have to be married to visit the board and they will tell you that this is part of military life..

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My next door neighbor.

Wants to ban all guns.

THEIR HOUSE IS UNARMED.

Out of respect for their opinion I will not protect.

Them with my guns..

Comments (13)

Hey girls, thanks for your support.  I really needed them..

It was more like He Is So Super Into You and then 5 seconds later, not.  Ridiculous.  I mean really..

I officially give up on all of it..

I'm just gonna die an old maid. .

Edited 5/16/2009 5:47 pm ET by katie-elle..

Comment #1

Katie-Elle, I'm a guy so listen to me..

You should write him one last text and tell him he's a liar and a fake lol  He already knows that, but saying it will really stab him good.  Trust me, it will.  Nobody likes to be called those things, especially when they knows it's true. .

If he's got any balls at all, he'll respond in some way.  Then you'll know he at least wasn't a complete and total douche and you can feel an ounce better about even giving him the time of day..

If nothing, then not only is he an a-hole, but he doesn't even have it to say anything to you.  .

Whether he replies or not, let that be your final text.   ..

Comment #2

Military guys dont make alot of money OR they are can be forgetful, so I would not be surprised if he either could not afford to pay his cell bill this month or just plain forgot.  I know because I have friends in the military from both those situations..

Neways, doesnt matter, he still would have found a way to reach you and tell you that. .

It sounds like you are over it.  So as for Anders recommendation over there.. lol Normally, I'd say, what's the point? .

But calling someone a "fake".. that particular word is harsh and it'll cut.  If he's any kind of decent person, if you sent him that, he might think twice about cold dropping someone else in the future or at least be more conscious of outpouring his "love" before he is super certain about it.  So I say GO FOR IT and text him LIAR and FAKE LOL  It's true anyways.............!.

After that, whether he replies or not, as Anders said, wipe your hands of him.  Make that be your last text to him forever and ever.  So very His Loss!.

Blair.

Edited 5/17/2009 11:05 am ET by blairbear89..

Comment #3

Depending of how long you have dated and if you haven't discussed and agreed to being in a exclusive relationship (thru Match.com) then if I were him getting a text like that I would say good riddance to you. Very childish.You are basically convicting him of something without any proof. Did he tell you he was going to contact you at a certain time/day/hour? If not then, you really have nothing to be upset about. If you are just dating (online dating with Match.com) or just met then his life shouldn't revolve around you and vice versa, and if you expect it to then you are the one with an issue...

Comment #4

He hasn't contacted her in a week and when she texted him once in the middle of the week, he didnt reply back.  Obviously that is ok for you to not hear from the guy you're dating (online dating with Match.com) for days and days.  To Katie-Elle and myself, it is not. .

So let me get this straight - you personally have to make a formal arrangement so the guy knows that he is not supposed to go an entire week without calling you?  And if you expect him to say hi during the course of the week, that signals that you expect his life to revolve around you??.

Katie-Elle, you are not being childish.  Your expectations in this case are reasonable (and I dont know all of your standards but all of them should be HIGH-you/me/etc deserve the best) and you are doing just fine. .

Edited 5/18/2009 11:23 am ET by blairbear89..

Comment #5

So this kind of brings me to that age-old question.  How can we show interest, be available with all of the hot and cold that might go on, but still show we respect ourselves too much for it (if it gets to be too much).  How do we know when the hot and cold is too much, or if it is just the beginning of a relationship (thru Match.com) and we need to be patient?  And if we are patient and welcoming when they return, do we look like we don't think highly of ourselves?.

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Chick...wondering...where's the line.....

Comment #6

Thanks Blair!!.

Ichickpee, that was a really well-written post.

I think it's really a personal threshold, what do you think?  what's your line?.

For me, I need the guy to be consistent.  so with this guy, you know, he was coming on strong and like I said, our last convo, he was super sweet and effusive with I miss you SO much etc etc!  and then nothing for a week and didnt even reply to my text! .

So his words did NOT match his actions (or NON actions) at all!  that is a bad sign and I really just dont want to go there.. .

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Comment #7

As I stated, it depends on how long you have been dating (online dating with Match.com) what the relationship (thru Match.com) is. If you haven't been dating (online dating with Match.com) long, it shouldn't be that big of a deal or it isn't for me, I take everything with a grain of salt at first, I continue on with my life and don't sweat it. If he promised he would call and didn't then I would see that as not being consistant but I would give him the benefit of the doubt the first time (especially being in the military) I would talk with him about what I like in communication see what he says and see if we could come to a compromise of how often to communicate... if it continued to happen then I would say good riddance. How does she know he even got the text the first time? Why not pick up the phone a call?If it were an established relationship, I would still give him the benefit of the doubt the first time (things happen), I wouldn't send him a childish email accusing him of something... that is called assuming and that usually turns out bad.Most everyone communicates more frequently at first, but that dies down, people have other things going on in their lives. If she doesn't tell him what she expects in communication HOW is he supposed to know if he didn't meet those expectations?..

Comment #8

You wrote that a lot clearer.  I can see it from your point of view and I def agree about expressing oneself because people can't read minds for sure. .

But in certain things, I personally am just used to the guy just doing it.. not because he is reading my mind and just naturally knows to call me.. but that he wants to of his own accord. .

When a guy super likes me, he can't help himself - he certainly wouldnt go a week without contacting me if he really did miss me, if he says that.  .

Can be a tough call for sure..

I do agree about giving another chance, esp if it's the beginning.  You made good points. ..

Comment #9

I don't think this is good advice!.

Threatening and calling men names when you are upset only distances them!  If he is waffling this would surely seal the deal in the sense he will no longer be interested..

Where did you get such advice?.

Soliel..

Comment #10

I think whether you are exclusive or not, it's never a good idea to call men names!.

I say this for so many reasons...in this case...poster didn't know what was going on....she shouldn't jump to conclusions before knowing!.

Even if he DID back off from her...it's STILL not a good idea.  I think it's better to always always show class and restraint!  You will walk away with more dignity and he will think of you as that one woman who didn't lose her cool and become ugly and immature..

In this situation...the best thing to do is simply back off and move on with your life.  Calling names, getting angry, begging, pleading, demanding all just turn men off and make him glad he did what he did..

For your own self interest do NOT DO THIS. Take the higher road and let him think you are a smart cookie who doesn't lose her cool..

Soliel..

Comment #11

**UPDATE**.

Hey all..

I basically took a combination of everyone's advice.  I have to say, that it was good for me to call him out.  I didnt use the word liar, but I just said how I felt..

He called me from his work this afternoon and gave a really amazing apology (+ other really nice things..) and said it wont happen again. .

Lv2breathe: I like him, but I'm not afraid of losing him.  If he doesnt like what I have to say, he doesnt have to go out with me again.  That seems to be the prevailing thing-you think, oh if I say this or act this way the guy will think Im nutso and leave me!  Oh blah.  You can be classy and not be restrained in the manner you're describing.   ..

Comment #12

Sorry, missed the question here but if you did get dropped out of seeming ly nowhere odds are there were a few "red flags" that you noticed subconsciously but opted to let go so as not to rock the boat.

,..

Comment #13


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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