Any horror stories to share?

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My question is: Any horror stories to share?.

My 2nd question is: I am not sure where to begin.  But, I have been involved in three relationships over the last few years.  One guy was normal, just didn't work out. The 2nd guy lied about his age, and I found out he cheated on me.  The 3rd guy I recently posted about and he was a major alocholic and mean and beligerant.  He harassed me after I ended it (after a fery long 10 weeks), he threatened suicide, told me he hoped I died a horrible death.  Everything is blocked so he cannot contact me and I thought I had moved on from the situation..

I took 5 months off dating, and decided to just be alone.  I had no desire to date.  I recently started going out again and really thought I was ready.  So, now I met someone else, and he seems great.  he is open about how he feels.   he told me he was married, no kids, divorced 2 years ago.  He has the right amount of contact with me - not too much, not too little.  Respectful.  Its moving a good pace.  Not too fast.  Just seemed great..

I don't know how to explain it, but I just starting getting this sense, maybe he's married, maybe he is lying.  I don't know.  Its just a horrible feeling to not be able to fully trust somebody's intentions.  When we talk or are together, everything is fine and I have no doubts that he is into me.  But, then when we aren't together, I start getting this feeling, like oh, somethings up.  Are these kinds of questions normal at the outset of a relationship, or do I really just have trust issues that need to be addressed? .

When we talk on the phone, it's usually when he is in his car going someplace, and so that is what started all of this. Why does he only call me when hes not home?  that is what started me thinking this way...

Comments (3)

Go with your gut. It's called women's intuition.  but don't just accept it for what you expect. I agree. Ask to see his place (if appropiate time), or you have his phone # where you can call him whenever, or do you have 'restrictions' on the times you can call?  Have you met his friends yet?   If you haven't dated long enough to know these things, then only time will tell. Guard your heart until you know for sure...

Comment #1

Trust your gut. I dated a guy, and several months into INTENSE dating, all of a sudden he started "leaving his phone in the car", or "it's battery ran out". Then he was going to parties and not inviting me along. Then all of a sudden, he was never available on the weekends and wouldn't respond to a text for hours.It ate me up inside, because up to this point we were quite an item. He called me daily, texted 10 times a day, etc. We saw each other one weeknight and one weekend night each week.Then he introduced me to someone as his "friend" after he had spent the previous months referring to himself as my boyfriend, meeting my brother and sister-in-law, asking to meet my mom, introducing me to his daughter.I didn't want to look at all the evidence in front of me.

And yet, to talk to him, we were still great, amazing, incredible together.So when I made the request to be exclusive (after all, we were starting to put our kids into the mix, and I feel really strongly about it), he said he didn't want to commit. Claimed he wasn't seeing anyone else, but wanted the option to see other people.Looking back, it is clear that he was seeing others all those times he was unreachable. But he wanted to have his cake and eat it, too, and he was amazed that I wanted to break it off. But I KNEW in my heart this was happening, and up to this point it had been, I thought, so great, that I didn't want to see it. I caused myself weeks of heartache and stress avoiding the obvious...

Comment #2

You've had lots of stressful relationship (thru experiences - particularly the last one you wrote about. It's not surprising you doubt your instincts. I suggest you try a few sessions of therapy to over your feelings, patterns, fears. I wish you the best of luck.


Comment #3

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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