I think the biggest 'no-no' that's going on here, is trying to find out 'where you're at in this r-ship'. To me, this is needy behavior. I know you want to know up front, so that you don't get hurt, but... it's NOT a good thing to do. Why? B/c people who are NOT needy/desperate to date, don't feel the need to ask these types of questions..
If you get offended by me saying this, then there MUST be some truth to it. So, if you're NOT needy, then... what's the rush to know where this is going? You know what I mean?.
Listen, being patient and playing by the rules of the 'game', will more than likely make this r-ship flourish. By NOT playing by the rules, you're going to speed up the time to ruin it. So... just enjoy the times you spend together, and DO NOT be in a rush to get into something serious.
She's obviously into you and the fact that you're asking the 'status' of this r-ship, is showing this girl that you have HIGH expectations from her. Aka, neediness.
You both like each other, so hang out, have fun and TIME will tell whether or not this will turn into more. Don't rush the process..
Welcome to the board!!.
I think you might be pushing things along a little too fast. And Z has a point about coming across as clingy. Just with any relationship (thru Match.com) (weather lesbian or heterosexual), it takes time to get to know someone to see if you want to have a "relationship" with them. Your friend was very unfront with you about where she is at. Take her word and work on taking some risk. It's not easy, but love is worth it..
I'm not sure if the lesbian community operates any different than the straight community when it comes to dating, but if it is anything like the straight community then her comment "When I ask her what she thinks about me she says she needs more time" - is laced with b.s..
Either she wants to date using Match.com you or she doesnt. ..
You know thats what I thought too but just today I found out the reason she needed more time was because she has to move to out of town in like 3 weeks. She is going to live with her mother because she is having financial issues. She didn't want to get into a relationship (thru Match.com) for three weeks then have to go. A good reason I guess?..
It all depends...how far away does the mother live?..