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My 2nd question is: I recently went to a sports bar with some friends where I met a really nice fellow named Gonzalo. After our first meeting, like so many others, he asked for my number. He called and we went on a date, which was wonderful to say the least. With little effort put forth by me, he was all over me, yet not in a smothering way. Due to my schedule I went out of town for three days after, and whence I returned he called me for another date. Yet on this date using I had grown quite fond of Gonzalo because I had never clicked with someone like I did him.

We hung out the next day and he said he would call me after his exam that week (he's finishing uni in BA) . Well being that he is a guy, I expected him to call at least three days after but now it has been almost 10 days. When I last left Gonzalo though he was literally all over me (hands, flirting). So now I'm a bit confused, there were no warning signals, it's completely unexpected. The plot thickens though, one of his friends is seeing one of my friends and the other night we were at a bar, when my friend, Joey ,who is seeing his friend, Santini,  asked where Gonzalo was.

I'm realistic and have realised that maybe Gonzalo didn't like me or maybe it was just that he wanted sex, but why lead me on in such a manner?  Why pretend to like someone when you don't. I obviously am not going to call Gonzalo and ask him this but I'm just curious as to what others think or if Im just completely misreading the whole situation. Quite frankly I'm just a bit confused...

Comments (3)

You slept with him too quickly.  I think with a lot of men (and some won't admit it and some do)  don't want to join a club that will let anyone be a member, if you know what I mean?  You barely knew him and at the end of the second date using you had sex with him - doesn't make you a bad person, but if you are looking to develop a relationship, it's always better to wait until you know the person better to have sex.  I think men actually prefer it this way - instead of continuing to want you and court you in the hopes to one day 'get lucky', they got lucky and with all that early intimacy, they start asking - wait a minute, do I want this?  Is she the girl for me?  What do I do now?  Is she going to expect a relationship?  Maybe if I don't call her for a while, she'll get the message I'm not looking to get into something serious at the moment.  When you make a man wait, so that you KNOW he's not there just to get into your pants, their desire just grows and so does their respect - might not be fair, but it's true..

That's my theory, anyway..


Comment #1

All I can say is that when you sleep with someone on the second date using or the fifth date using or the tenth never really know if you will hear from them again..

He was an immature guy who is a coward.  Any man worth anything would be honest and upfront with you and just tell you that he had a nice time but he didnt expect it to go any further than what it was.  Wouldnt it be nice if guys would just be upfront and say, "I'm sexually attracted to you and I'd love to have sex with you, but that's it".  This way women wouldnt feel that their heart strings got too hard a tug being *manipulated* into sex.  I say *manipulated* because, technically, he never promised you anything but he did act like a guy who actually *liked* you and seemed interested in *you* instead of just wanting to jump into bed with you.  So women end up feeling manipulated and men get sick and tired of putting on the dog and pony show just to get some action..

Take it for what it was and just be yourself. One day you'll probably meet someone who will want the entire you - sex and all...

Comment #2

Hi Carca,.

Welcome to the board!!.

You know there could be a million reasons for what Gonzalo has done and only he really knows the answers.  I know for me not knowing is like torture!!!  I wouldn't beat yourself up over this and keep living life the best way you know how and making sure you have some fun..

Good Luck,.




Comment #3

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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