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My 2nd question is: OK so here is my story... Just to warn you it will be long... My name is Christina I am 20 years old. I met my husband when I was 15 years old, he was 19. I fell for him so fast. We were together for a month before he deployed to Iraq.

We moved into our own place when I turned 17. I got pregnant at 18 right after my birthday. I had my baby and seven months later I got married... (AUGUST 25 2007)... My husband has been abusive since he came home from Iraq, I didnt really tell anyone because I loved him...

Everything went on in that house... I mean everything, to candles breaking my foot to keys flying straight through the window. it was non stop... My son started hitting himself, screaming... ect.

I became the girl that hated her life and wanted to run from it, so I did. When he had days off I would go be by my self. I would go to late night bingo. Being fallen outa love and already staying at my moms (last november that started) I met a man that was a bingo runner... I would go with a few of my child hood friends.

So one thing led to another, and pretty soon the text messages were becoming "hello, goodmorning, how are you". He was with a girl... THAT COMPLETELY used him for everything he had. after about a month me and the guy started having a real relationship (thru behind my husband and the girl that was using him (i dont want to call her his girlfriend since she was kinda JUST THERE) Finally I told my husband for the millionth time... "I AM LEAVING AND NOT LOOKING BACK".

So he went crazy and things got worse..... Besides other details... I had to put my husband in jail on Sunday because I got thrown down on the ground and head butted. and slapped twice... ok, so what I am getting at is the man I met is 46 years old...

And he treats me like I am his everything. HE LOVES MY BABY AS HIS OWN, AND TELLS ME EVERYDAY THAT WE SAVED EACH OTHER FROM CRAZY RELATIONSHIPS. My husband filed for a divorce thank god, I didnt think he would give in. so I just want to know if you guys would think it's bad to be in love with an older guy.... and I know I will get comments as if thats nasty all he wants is sex...

Its always me and sometimes I get a NO. But I do know that I am truly falling for this man... and I KNOW he is falling for me...

Comments (4)

Hi Christina,.

Welcome to the board!!.

Wow what an experience you've been through.  I'm glad you are not in an abusive relationship (thru anymore!!!! doesn't sound like you have been seeing this new man for very long.  I think that is more of something to worry about than the age difference.  If it works for the two of you it works, but you need to be careful not to fool yourself.  When we are "falling" in love with someone, it is soooooooo easy to push thing aside that we shouldn't..

I think the best idea is to take your time.  Don't rush into moving in with him or marrying him.  Really and truely get to know him.  Does your family know about him?  If you have to hide him, you should be with him.  At least that's what I think..

Hope this helps a little and hold back some and give the two of you lots of time to work through all of this. .

Good Luck,.



Comment #1

Thank you!!! I am glad you werent irate over it. Yes my family loves him!!!!! Thanks for the reply..

Comment #2

I don't think age matters as much when you get older, but a 20 yr old and 47 yrd old, the mental maturity level between those ages are so different... now if you were 30 and he were 57yr old that would be a different story.  He has lived and experienced a lot more than you have, his maturity level is vastly different than yours, and it should be, because you are only 20 yrs old.  The vast majority of relationships with that amout of difference in age, at your age do not last..

But honestly the age is not what you have to worry about as much as actually being ready for another relationship (thru after going through what you have been through.  It takes time to heal from the ending of a relationship (thru regarless if it was bad or not.  Most relationships that start out with affairs (and this is what it was) do not last more than 1-2 yrs.  The main reason is you were unhappy with your life and someone showed you a little attention and it was so different than what you were used to, that you jump on it.   A relationship (thru needs a solid foundation....respect, honesty, trust among other things and yours did not start with any of that, because you were married. It takes two happy, well adjusted people to make a relationship (thru good.   He might make you happy for a little while but it will not last unless you are happy with yourself, flaws and all.  Love and respect yourself first, before getting involved with someone.  Take some time for yourself, work on yourself, self help books, counseling if that is what it takes, make yourself the best person you can be for yourself and your child..

Good luck..

Comment #3

Your welcome.  THere is never a good reason to be irrate over issues like this.  Only you and him have to live wtih your decisions.  But I do think I know where you are coming from - sometimes people can be very forceful with there opinions..



Comment #4

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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