Hey! Well I'm 24 and my b/f'll be 24 in july. We've been dating (online dating with Match.com) for a year and a half...
Ok so you're not teenagers and you've been dating (online dating with Match.com) a while... That makes things a little easier. While you really don't want to downright lie to your boyfriend and it's probably unnecessarily harsh to say "my mom hates you so you're banned from my house", he should have some kind of explanation. Could you just tell him, "my mom is kind of weird about me dating (online dating with Match.com) so she takes time to acclimate to a boyfriend. I think it's best for now if we avoid my place when she's around if possible and in the meantime I'll keep talking to her about it."And you should. You're an adult and you can make your own decisions.Can I ask an important question though? What is it about him that your mother doesn't like? Do other people feel that way about him? If you think really hard about it, does she have a point or is it completely fabricated?..
Hi! Well it's not that I'm not allowed to date. It's that my mom doesn't like my b/f because he's handicapped. He only has one hand because he had a stroke in his sleep when he was 19. So his right hand is effected. It's in a cast like. My mom says I could do better, that he can't do anything for me.
I don't understand it's been 2 years and a half and she decides to express this now?? She talks like she hates him. The last 2 times my b/f dropped by the house my mom was plainly showing that she didn't like him. She doesn't actually come out and say it, but I can tell by her words. When she talks to him her voice doesn't sound happy to see him. And so I just don't want to bring him back over.
My mom starts saying his feet smell or his shoes smell. Thats how it started. Then it was that he won't open a bank account with me. And because he didn't open an account with me my mom band him from comming over. Then she said since he won't do it, it's ok she doesn't care anymore.
I don't know if he chooses to or if his mom makes him. My mom says just by looking at him you can tell he's handicapped. She says if he gets me pregnant I'll be stuck doing all the work. But I love him, he respects me and he shows me he cares about me. It's not all just about money and how a person looks.
Everyone doesn't like everyone. It's just here I was thinking his mom didn't like me and it turned out to be that my mom doesn't like him. So I just want to keep him away from my mom's house. She even said she'd rather him not come. He doesn't know she doesn't like him, it'd be mean to tell him. And then he'll tell his mom and stuff.
They met. There also from the same country. So I don't know what to tell my him if he wants to come over sometimes to see the dog. We have a dog at my house, it's my sister's dog. How do I tell him he can't? I don't know what to say to him...
If you pick up on her acting like she doesn't like him, I'm guessing he's perceptive enough to have an inkling about it himself.Maybe you should just come out and tell him that your mom has a problem with you dating (online dating with Match.com) him because she's prejudiced. It's not like he won't find out on his own... Have you really stood up to her?..
Well I think your right about that one. One night when I was at his house, we were talking and he could tell by my words. He suddenly told me he feels my mom doesn't like him anymore. But he only knew that because of how I worded stuff. I wasn't careful that night. But that was only a one time miswording.
THe times he's over, my mom does talk to him, it's just not in an enthusiastic or even normal tone. It's an an unhappy tone. I know telling him would be ok I guess, but then he'll tell his mom. And I don't know how she'll take it. She's probably going to think why? She likes me.
No I haven't stood up to her because she's agressive when I talk about him. She yells or doesn't say anything negative. I'm just thinking what if I was dating (online dating with Match.com) someone else and they had 2 hands. Then something happened and they end up only having 1 hand? I guess she'd want me to break up with that person. To me, you don't really love someone if you have that kind of mind..
I just don't know what to say to him when he asks to come over for a while to see my sister's dog. Usually in the summer time, we go out together and then stop by my house to hang out and say hi to my sister's dog. But since my mom made it clear she'd rather him not come back, I don't want to bring him back knowing full well she doesn't like him. Then when he leaves she picks an argurement. So thats why I'd rather not bring him. I'll go to his house and we'll go out. So what can I say to him when he asks to come over? Any ideas?..
"mom, this is the person I love and it's my choice as an adult... You don't need to love him but you do need to be civil to him and if you talk badly about him then I have to leave the room because I can't accept that kind of treatment of the person I love."That is the kind of standing up for him I mean. If you allow your mom to make these kinds of comments about him then she will KEEP DOING IT. You may not change her mind about him but if this guy is important to you then let her know you're an adult who has made an adult decision. If you allow her to lord over you because it's easier, you're accomplishing nothing.We get a lot of posts in the relationship (thru Match.com) boards from women who are ready to leave their men because their mothers badmouth their wives and the men can't stand up to mommy. Don't let it get to that point.
If she wants your presence at all she'll learn to stop...
Well I don't think I need to say all that stuff to her. I love him and I choose to be with and stuff because I'm an adult. It's my decision. She automatically knows I love him and that I'm an adult and make my decision. She told me that. She said I'm an adult and it's my choice.
She already knows. So I don't need to say it. Even if I said it, I don't know what the point would be, she wouldn't be quiet or reply calmy. She's explode. It's her house though not mine.
But I'm not leaving him for her happiness to reject mine. That wouldn't be fair. So with this being said. I guess I could tel lhim he's not allowed over anymore, he'll wonder why , but I'll just tell him I don't know. No guys allowed anymore even my sister's b/f isn't.
Other than that I don't know what else to say to him when he asks. I know he'll ask. Usually he does. ESpecially now since the weather's nicer...