A person on Yahoo and the same person on 2 different cities--different jobs. 2 diffe

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My first question is: A person on Yahoo and the same person on Match.comlive 2 different citiesdifferent jobs. 2 diffe.

My next question is: ...that I have ever done.  A little background: I have been hanging out with "Bob" for a few weeks.  We met online but ended up having mutual friends, etc.  We have slept together one time.  (That is another story)  I am thinking he is a player but I am fine with that (I guess).  I am new to the world of dating (online dating with since I was married for 8 years.  I never thought I would sleep with someone that quickly but I did.  It is what it is.  Anyway, I was getting "that bad feeling" about him...he kind of acts suspicious...married.  Infidelity on my ex-husband's part led to the end of our marriage. So I tried to look Bob's divorce up on the county court docket.  All I found was proof of a marriage certificate.  My stomach dropped.  I immediately tried to call my friend but no answer so I text messaged her "I think I am going to be sick.  There is no record of XYZ's divorce on the county docket."  BUT INSTEAD OF SENDING IT TO MY FRIEND, I SENT IT TO HIM!  OMG!  When I realized what I had done, I sent him a text apologizing and being completely honest.  He wrote back a completely defensive response.  I know what I did was stupid (sending him the text on accident) but you can't blame a girl for researching a guy she is sleeping with.  I have a feeling that I will not be hearing from him again.  UGH!  Any comments?  Suggestions? ..

Comments (5)

Your question was: A person on Yahoo and the same person on Match.comlive 2 different citiesdifferent jobs. 2 diffe.

If things were on the up and up, he wouldn't have reacted defensively, IMO..

Yes, you've probably heard the last from himand since he's probably still married, that would be a bad thing...why exactly???.

And why are you trying to talk yourself into being ok with a player when you're pretty clearly not?.



Comment #1

Thank you for the feedback!  I guess I am OK with him being a player because I do not see us going anywhere.  We have a lot in common, especially golf, but he smokes, works 60 hours a week, 10 years older than me (which is not necessarily a bad thing) and is extremely metrosexual...not that there is anything wrong with that, just not for me.  We have insane sexual chemistry however.  And his sarcasm is GREAT.  But I just see us being friends in the end...maybe I am putting up a mental defense of not wanting to be hurt?  He is also the first man that I have had sex with since my divorce.  It kinda woke up my dormant sexuality.    .

I will only be upset if I do not hear from him if/when I confirm that he is divorced.  If he is divorced then I just feel bad that maybe I upset him by showing that I was "checking up" on him.  IF he is married however...I would have no part of any communication with him.     ..

Comment #2

Hi Oldnewbie,.

Welcome to the board.  I really like your member name!!.

Don't beat yourself up.  So you text him.  Maybe it was just meant to be.  I hope you don't feel bad about checking into him!!  I totally do this with everyone I date.  I use google, my states court records, and my counties recorders office.  dating (online dating with can be scary, so there is nothing wrong with being careful.  I was married for 10 years and kinda did the same thing with the first guy I dated.  Felt strange at first..

Find some more guys to date using and don't worry about this one.  He doesn't seem worth it.  If your ex's issue was infidelity and this new man is doing the same, you definately don't want him..

Good luck,.




Comment #3

You apologized, what else can you do?  Yes you can apologize again - say your husband's infidelity has made you wary? This will teach you to be more careful with the trigger finger.  Why would you be fine that he's a player if this is someone you slept with.  Always have safe sex.

Good luck.


Comment #4

UPDATE: Bob called on Saturday and did not mention a thing about the text mess.  He invited me to play golf the following day.    I accepted and met him at the course on Sunday morning.  As I was getting my things out of my car, an older gentleman approaches me and asks if my name is Mary.  I said yes hesitantly and he said "Hi Mary.  I am Tom, Bob's step father.  I am playing golf with you two today.  I have heard a lot of nice things about you..."    I was shocked!  How random!  Bob eventually got there and we had a great time!  I now know for sure that he is divorced a result of the chit chat with his step-father.  I feel silly for what I did but not sorry.  Anyway, Bob ended up coming over to my house for a beer and to watch the end of the golf tournament.  We kissed, etc.  It was really nice.  Hehe.  Now I am just sitting on my hands to keep from calling him.  I have said in other posts that I am new at this dating (online dating with game thing.  It is so hard to play the courtship game!  My gut tells me I should wait for him to contact it "cool". .

Thanks again for all the feedback!..

Comment #5

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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