Your question was: A friend signed up on match.com and suggested I sign up, but I'm a little hesitant. Advice? Recommen.
I agree with you and chi-tea. Tracy gives good reasons for and against. I love the reasons for; it might make some people think twice. However, the reasons against are very valid too: if he was abusive, alcoholic, or if you think you just won't find someone else so you should stick with him. I love when she said "If he tries to sleep with you within 10 minutes of getting back together, that's lust, not love.".
CL - Women of Color ..
As far as the sex goes..not sure if I agree with that one..it really depends on the couple, what they went through, how much they did care or do care. And I totally agree..one should not date using Match.com or reconcile out of loneliness. My first exhusband wanted to reconcile a week before the divorce was final because the other woman broke up with him. I could tell he was doing the cards/flowers thing because he was afraid of being left alone and it was tempting to think about not losing him after all of that...but I knew his intentions were not where they needed to be for a successful reconciliation..plus..I really never trusted him like I once did after that - as a husband...
I agree on the sex part...it completely depends upon the couple and the circumstances. Loneliness is definitely a bad reason for one to reconcile. I have never done it nor do I intend to. If I am with someone it is because I WANT to be and no other reason. The same goes for settling - I don't believe one has to settle and if they feel they do then the reasons as to why need to be examined. I have faith in myself and I am learning to have faith in others. Sometimes it takes me a while but when I do it's because I know it's REAL otherwise there would be no need for me to bother...
Your gut always knows the right thing to do, it's just that we then sometimes work very hard to convince ourself to do the exact opposite. If you're doing that it's a sign to listen to.