A friend signed up on and suggested I sign up, but I'm a little hesitant. Advice? Recommen

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My first question is: A friend signed up on and suggested I sign up, but I'm a little hesitant. Advice? Recommen.

My next question is: Her reasons on both points are valid.  I also feel that once you learn to trust your heart you will know what to do.  The people that do the work to clear up unresolved issues "get it" and know it's okay to trust what your heart is telling you.  I know I do now.  Thanks for posting the makes a lot of sense. ..

Comments (4)

Your question was: A friend signed up on and suggested I sign up, but I'm a little hesitant. Advice? Recommen.

I agree with you and chi-tea. Tracy gives good reasons for and against. I love the reasons for; it might make some people think twice. However, the reasons against are very valid too: if he was abusive, alcoholic, or if you think you just won't find someone else so you should stick with him. I love when she said "If he tries to sleep with you within 10 minutes of getting back together, that's lust, not love.".

CL - Women of Color  ..

Comment #1

As far as the sex goes..not sure if I agree with that really depends on the couple, what they went through, how much they did care or do care.  And I totally should not date using or reconcile out of loneliness. My first exhusband wanted to reconcile a week before the divorce was final because the other woman broke up with him.  I could tell he was doing the cards/flowers thing because he was afraid of being left alone and it was tempting to think about not losing him after all of that...but I knew his intentions were not where they needed to be for a successful really never trusted him like I once did after that - as a husband...

Comment #2

I agree on the sex completely depends upon the couple and the circumstances.  Loneliness is definitely a bad reason for one to reconcile.  I have never done it nor do I intend to.  If I am with someone it is because I WANT to be and no other reason.   The same goes for settling - I don't believe one has to settle and if they feel they do then the reasons as to why need to be examined.  I have faith in myself and I am learning to have faith in others.  Sometimes it takes me a while but when I do it's because I know it's REAL otherwise there would be no need for me to bother...

Comment #3

Your gut always knows the right thing to do, it's just that we then sometimes work very hard to convince ourself to do the exact opposite. If you're doing that it's a sign to listen to.


Comment #4

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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