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A date from match.com is confusing me. help?

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My first question is: A date from match.com is confusing me. help?.

My next question is: Hi this an update from my previous post about the emotionally unaivalable man...

I am still hanging in there but the lies he tells me are getting worse and far more unbelievable even so far as to say his father was in hospital and he couldn't see me. When I rang to get the patient list he was non existant.

Or telling me he was way on business and he was calling me from the hotel room only to hear his home landline ringing tone go off - when I called his number it was engaged.

I am going out of my mind - when he suspects that I am on to him he becomes aggressive and angry at me pushing me int a corner and talking about trust from me...

Every week he tells me at least one big lie and I know he lying and I do nothing about it.

I feel horrible, I am distressed my self esteem is at it's lowest.

Why cant this man come out and say the truth to me?.

What is wrong with me for hanging around to take this abuse?.

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Comments (5)

Your question was: A date from match.com is confusing me. help?.

<<Why cant this man come out and say the truth to me? >>.

Why do you care?  He is a lousy, rotten LIAR.  He is abusive and manipulative and cruel.  You know he is a liar and he doesn't tell the truth because he is a liar. .

<<What is wrong with me for hanging around to take this abuse? >>.

I have no idea.  Get out NOW.  You can't trust him nor should you.  Do not be bullied into staying with this jerk.  Don't bother hanging in there because it's only going to continue to get worse.  Get support from a friend or family member or women's shelter or crisis line to get out.  You're doing this because your self esteem has taken a beating and you no longer think you deserve better.  But you do and unless you get out now, you will only spiral more out of it and may have an even harder time recovering..

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Comment #1

Hi Gina,.

I think you stay around because sometimes it is easier to be with someone that treats us badly than to be alone.  Do you have some friends and/or family that you could rely on for a little while?  This way when you want to talk or see your guy you talk or see your freinds and family.  They will also help keep you busy so that you won't think about him so much..

We can change the actions of others - only our own..

Good Luck,.

Kristie.

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Comment #2

 In my opinion, this isn't about this 'lying guy', as much it is about WHY you are willing to be with him. You wonder why he's a liar and we ALL wonder why you're even sticking around wondering why he lies. WHO CARES WHY HE LIES. He does it, b/c that's who he is. He isn't going to change for you or anyone else, yet you think that by sticking around that YOU can change it. YOU CAN'T, SO GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE!!! It's that easy, Gina..

 Z..

Comment #3

<< What is wrong with me for hanging around to take this abuse?  >>.

Honest truth ... what's 'wrong with you' is that you don't like and love yourself enough to walk away.  .

But, that is the ONLY question that is truly worth asking ... so, kudos to you for asking it.  You need to look at yourself and why you are staying in this relationship.  Forget why he is the way he is!   The only thing that will help you is helping yourself.   .

Truly, it boggles my mind as to why anyone would stay in a relationship (thru Match.com) with someone who pushes you in a corner (literally!).  And staying with someone who lies on a weekly basis?  .

What benefit do you get from this?? .

Hon, you are an abused woman.   Repeat that to yourself over and over, everyday, everynight.  The truth often hurts, but the truth also heals.  Find a support group that can help give you the strength to walk away from this type of relationship (thru Match.com) ... so you can then start building your self-esteem and confidence...

Comment #4

He has a mental disorder and there is nothing you can do to fix it.  He needs to get professional help and medications if there are any for his particular problem.  If you wish to stick byhim during this, that is your perogative.  However, there is a good chance that nothing changes (especially if he wont seek help) and you are left with the daily messes he makes with his lies  - not to mention having a relationship (thru Match.com) with a person who doesnt exist - everything is a lie.  If the latter is the case, then you are better off taking care of yourself and breaking things off with him...

Comment #5


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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